iris-my new lifee

MOVED ~

2009-08-05T11:30:00.000+08:00

Dearest of all. For your info, i'ved MOVED.
Not gonna blog or update this blog anymore. Tag me for my new linked.
*Loves*

& this blog will be removed soon~

back to work..

2009-08-01T23:39:00.000+08:00

yappx. im back to work. but right now, im working at new shop all alone. boo~

wondering why am i back to full time again right. because birthday is coming, celebration needs money, then november gonna go holiday, wonder Lianx a still remember our holiday not. time really flies. so fast August liaos. & this stupid blogger is really getting more & more fuck up okays. cant update photos now. wtf*

boyf got confinement, so is back in camp, but morning he'll be booking out again. but i got work. hhaas. then boyf say he'll pick me up tomorrow after work. yappiie :)

sians. dont know why so sians also. hhaas. maybe this stupid bloggermakes me feel so. because i wanted to upload bbQuinn's latest video also cant. hhaas. bbQuinn more & more cutee. loves to talk. & she can recognised people & places lo. if people she dont like de, play with her, she will cry & make a very very sad face. hhaas. then after work, she again so smart, will automatically opens her eye & wait for me to kiss her. hhaas. loves*

mummy & daddy fobid me to kiss her. because her face gonna get more & more rough liao le. hhaas. but i just simply cant resist to smell, kiss & hug her so tight nahs.! (*like my cousins says, feel like eating & biting her =P.. hhaas..)

alrights. shall stop here. blog again when blogger is okays. loves**

bought bbQuinn to aunt hse for swimming sessions :)

2009-07-29T00:48:00.005+08:00

aunt new house view.
so damn chio.
i told boyf that i wanna stay there too. hhaas*
& i believe that there's a chance if we work hard.
because i believe in boyf :)

my lil princess lying on my small cousin new bed. hhaas**

bbQuinnabel's swimming time :)
she so enjoy nor.

my forever lil naughty princess.

iloveher :)

alrights. nothing much. just spent my time at time & went to have mac with mummy over at my house area here to let time past. hhaas. during evening time, aunt came & pick us up to go over to her new house for swimming sessions. boo* i feel so wasted that i dont dare go swim lo. because no people accomapny me. so i only play with bbQuinn inside water & play badminton with my cousin. hhaas. bbQuinn enjoy herself so much inside the swimming pool. yappx. my aunt hse view is the above pictures. her hourse so damn chio lo. im so in love. only if im rich enough or daddy rich enough like once in the past, i sure asked daddy to buy the place over there. right in front of aunt house door, is the swimming pool. so much like the chalet lo. damn nice. inside her house got lift somemore. hhaas. i gonna pester boyf to buy 1 of the house there & stay. hhaas. after that went to granny's house to visit granny. i saw granny, she's skinner. & i really hope she still can endure till the end. i love granny okays.! hhaas. but at least after the hua liao, she's more cheerful. hhaas. hope she recover from miracle soon :)

okays. shall stop here. gonna go sleep lerh. tata :)

my life filled with boyf & bbQuinn is so so so wonderful. they are my life, my everything. i live for them :)

my lil tweety bird. i simply love to pinch my lil princess cheek.

so cuteeeeeeeeeee :)

comments.??

2009-07-28T00:14:00.002+08:00

momiie's precious princess :)

my all time loves.

hhaas. was playing with bbQuinn's hair.

super cutee okays.!

her hair after tie, the hair bcome like MJ's hair, MAO WANG. wont drop de.

without wax to stand up norr.

mummy say look like Lianx A house de PARROT.!!! *LMAOs*

princess eating her favourite drumstick till so loud lo.

omg. cant resist to kiss her when i carry her.!!!

Costa Sands Resort (Downtown East)

Costa Sands Resort (Sentosa)
Costa Sands Resort (East Coast)
Costa Sands Resort (Pasir Ris)

PS. which shall i book for my 21st birthday.?? I thought of SENTOSA :)

or maybe should i not celebrates.? hmm. sianssssss*

*comments leis*

emo-ing again~

2009-07-27T12:38:00.000+08:00

如今心痛有谁人陪我渡.?

yes, here am i to emo again. boo! no photos to be update for now. because stupid blogger is down again. hmm. wondering why blogger service is so lousy. i think i really gonna go change my website.

raining & drizzling at the same time. my heart is like the rain now. so confused, so emo-ing~

didnt go work today. because totally no mood. & thanks to lianx a. say want meet me, in the end she got appointment. shag*
haiis. my moodswings wasnt doing any good this few days. i cant have a statisfied heart. i dont know how to feel fulfiled. i really dont know what's my mind thinking. i want to be loved & dote & pampered. yes, boyf all gave it to me. but still, i still cant feel the feeling i wanted. i wonder why. friend told me that is because i dont know how to focus my love for now, as im with a kid. & i've place boyf at a very top & impt position in my heart. am i? i dont know either. haiis.

i feel sorry & sad that i keep sms-ed boyf thoe hurting msges. i dont mean it. really. & i not mean to add on stress to his work & stuffs. i dont know why am i behaving this few days. boyf loves me & bbQuinn. we both love him. but i seriously dont know how to handle all these well. because i had a failure marriage. i lost to love. i placed a gamble to the lost love & lost it terribly. i thought i've stand up for the past, not bringing the past to my present life. yes, i really did. but i still haven't walked out the fear of afraid to lost in love. i doubt my love now. i hope i didnt. because im hurting boyf.

seriously. im hurting myself too. i feel so damn emo. damn damn emo. no one understands what im thinking or feeling. even mummy. i hided my feelings for so long. & untill now, i really cant take it anymore, i cant hold back my tears anymore. im not strong at all. im lost. i fear. i cried.

i wanna stay alone for this minutes & wake up from the bad dreams. i dont wanna be sad. i should be happy with what i had right now. a very good boyf to love & pamper me. & also a very cute & chubby baby girl to brighten my life. i should feel great that i have them both in my life..

i pray that my fearness will be gone. seriously. im very moodswing now..

photos :)

2009-07-26T01:12:00.005+08:00

Photos for update :)

Grace's birthday. bbQuinn crying :)

Lianx A bbQuinn.

i love my Lianx A :)

Happy 3th Month Baby :)

Daddy feeding naughty bbQuinn =/

Daddy ; Momiie & bbQuinn.

Happy Family.

my precious little baby :)

*momiie love you so much*

:)

2009-07-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED THIRD MONTH :)

alrights. shall faster do an update bhs.
okok. bbQuinn's fullest update. yesterday bought her for injection, yesh, she did cry, but after awhile, she's okay liao. good girl :)

bbQuinn is now weighing 6.26kg :)
hhaas. super big size comparing to other babies lo.
hhaas. after that went to compass point, bought bbQuinn her BUMBO seats. hhaas. after shopping, went to Aunt's house visit. because never go before. damn beautiful. i told boyf that i wanna stay there too. hhaas. laughs*

just came back from Grace's birthday celebrations. hhaas. finally see her turn 21st yrs liao. hhaas. all the best to her & stay pretty. LOL. so pai seh arr. my bbQuinn keep cry cry non-stop. hhaas. because too hot i think. boo*

anyway, tomorrow gonna start my part time job. my favourite job too. all the best to me. gonna watched tv & go bathe liao. hhaas. photos shall update. because stupid blogger is down again. :

happy #th mth babyQuinn

2009-07-24T01:33:00.005+08:00

HAPPY 3TH MONTH, MY BABY QUINNABEL!!

mummy lovess you lots :)

untill now, babyQuinn :

- can drink 5oz every 2hr 3omins.
- eat soft foods such as bananas, whipped potatoes.
- sit inside her walker & pushed herself backwards.
- eat her hands(drumsticks).
- make a very KE LIAN face when she want people to carry her.
- loves to talk.
- attitude problems.
- when i scolding her, she dare not cry, but she can make it very sad looking face.
- during noon time wants me to carry her & sing her to sleep, once i stop singing, she opens her eye big big.
- loves ahgong & ahma & me:)
- loves to be KPO when we walked abou, she watched us.
- loves to play with water.

hhaas. for now is like this. shall carry on with the post after her injections tomorrows. loves*
nights :)

bbQuinn in her walker :)

video2.

video3

2009-07-23T00:25:00.002+08:00

alright shall faster type a quick post & go to bed already since babyQuinn is sleeping right now. hurhurr.! sorry for not updating my blog. due to being a full time momiie now, doesnt have much time to blog & plus the stupid blogger got problem. hhaas. went to Chinatown today with mummy & babyQuinn & myself. hhaas. went there walk walk & buy some stuffs. after that had dinner at Pepper Lunch with younger brother. boo! tiring.! really very tiring to look after baby full time. but i still can endure, alrights? hhaas. now & then babyQuinn got one special habit, & that's i must sing her to sleep. lol. if i stop, no music, she open her eyes big big. LOL. so cutee. & now mummy & i tried to put her inside walker already, she sit till damn "zai" lo. as if she's old enough for herself to sit. somemore she knows how to push herself with the walker backwards lo. daddy said that she's very strong already. not like normal babies.! hhaas. she grows damn fast. friday is her 3rd mth liaos. early morning need bring her go for injections. boo:(

hhaas. right now, babyQuinn is weighing at 6kg. hhaas. Joyce told me Lucas is only 6.6kg & his 6th mths old lo. omg. many says babyQuinn is like 'abit overweight' lo. hhaas. because she drinking 5oz every 2 & half hrs lorr!!! never give her drink, she cries like i never give her eat before. damn cutee.! & babyQuinn is given to eat bananas & wipped potatoes already.! hhaas. the way she eat the food. very funny expressions lo. hhaas. cant stop laughing at all. she can be very sweet to laugh & play with us when she is happy, but when she throws temper.. .. just like me like that. like the QUEEN like that. die die want is want de.. hen she can cry till she make a sad sad face lo. isnt she cute?? hhaas.!!

alrights. shall stop here. gonna go liao. am tired. :)

yesterday is me & boyf de anni lo. but my poor boyf outfield. cant msg-ed too. so sadd.!! i miss him alots :)

PS. Happy 2mth Anni, boyf =)

babyQuinnabel with her pooh pooh :)

she knows how to sayang her pooh pooh lo.

full time momiie :)

momiieIris & babyQuinnabel.

mother & daughter's wear :)

babyQuinnabel sitting inside her walker.

PS. she's so damn stable lerh now, alrights. people who dont know her, always guess that she's already going to be ONE YEAR OLD de baby lo. =/

stupid blog.

2009-07-21T21:45:00.001+08:00

stupid blogger. got problem. cant blog for today. got so much to update. hmm. shall wait for blogger to be okay soon :)

THINKING OF CHANGING BLOG TYPE. WONDERING WHICH IS BETTER.? GOT RE-COMMENDED SITE .??

childish den me..

2009-07-20T12:31:00.003+08:00

everyone should be wondering what's wrong with my blog. why got those unknown people inside my blog saying me.

yes,im already 21,already a momiie. so what's wrong of saying those nasty things? unlike HER childish friends spamming my tagboard without names. LMAOs. because they are born without names. LOSER.!

its not me who started those cursing & swearing towards their family. blame who? BLAME THE BYTCH HERSELF.! what's wrong of a single mummy? what's wrong when i have a baby & i cant find a boyf?

just a disc i borrowed from her, which should return long long ago, i keep forgetting, & its my mistakes too. but do she need to say those nasty words & insulting things to me first? HELLO BYTCH.! im a single mummy, i need to WORK & STUDY at the same time to earn my own money, unlike you, dreaming of loving guys everyday & stuffs. is you insult my life & i shall return it to yours. because you wont feel pain when i saying you. so why not i hurt your mum? asked your loser friends to spam more lahs. you think i care? i dont give a damn. i dont care whoever wanna blame me. saying its my fault to say all those things. BUT I WILL MAKE IT CLEAR FROM HERE. unlike you, dare to say people, then lock your fucking blog, dont dare let me see what you insult huh? omg.! blame it on yourself, for being such a kiddo. dare to insult people, scare i spam your blog, so lock it. WHAT A JOKE.!

being a single mummy got wrong? you ask police come catch me lahs. i shall wait here & see what is your marriage next time. i swear you will be worst than me.! no kids? no husband? no lovers? omg. i cant imagine. yaya, im childish to say you & stuff. but to me, you are more childish & brainless. i feel so sad for your mum & sister. only know how to throw face to the family. ownself problem, get the whole family involved. if not for you started to say my bbQuinn, i wont say your mum. blame yourself hard.! if i were you, i might be hiding inside my own room now. LMAOS.!

no wonder my brother break with you. because you dont deserve people to love you.! when you promise to love & wait for him, what you did? you let him wear green hat. no wonder he played ou back & ditch you. omg. i say out your stories. no choice, even my brother agreed that you're like this.. what's the feeling of being ditch? maye you dont know bahs. because you insult me as a single mummy. so i shall wait here & see when you are being ditch after guys fuck you, make you pregnant & shall see how you gonna walk down the road. remember this. if it wasnt for the sake you started all this nonsense, i wont be here wasting my time to say you & stuff.

ask your loser friends to spam more bahs. i dont care at all. useless. the most, MARK & DELETE.! so easy. but for you? you have to face the retribution of insulting other people's innocent child. just wait & see. i believe in KARMAs.

FYI, at least my boyf love & dote me lots. even if im a SINGLE MUMMY.! at least better than you, no one loved.!

PS. im not being childish or immature. what's wrong with single mummy? & to all single mummy, what if all this shits happen to you, people insulting your baby & you just because of such a small thing, what you'll do?

i can let the matter off. because im not so worst than her. im a bytch so wad? she's no better than me. i have the right to protect my girl & myself, just like your sister protecting her family. unlike you, bringing back those curse to your own family. boo~

okays, & i shall apologise only to the mummy of hers. IM SORRY TO SAY OR PULL YOU INTO THIS MATTER. if you wanna blame, blame your daughter. if not for her, i wont say those things too. friends who know me well, know me better. im not those CHI BAO MEI SHI ZOU de.. & im not those MEI YOU JIAO YANG de..

update time :)

2009-07-19T20:29:00.005+08:00

okays. shall update my blog real soon. for now, let's let pictures do the talk. i need to do my things & bathe. tomorrow gonna start my class lerh. nights every1 )

during permed~ hair :)

hhaas. husband holding wives hand.

see the stuff i went to malaysia re-stock. hhaas.

Mamy Poko Pants(44)-RM 27.99

Drypers(84)-RM26.99

Diapers(78)-RM26.99

Mamex Gold (3 tin, 1.5kg)-RM333

Pacifier holder-RM7.90

Baby Toy & Pacifier(2)-RM3.50

Baby's bowl & spoon-RM6.90

2 dresses-RM14
PS. FYI, i spent only S$150 to purchase everything above lo. damn cheap nahs.

boyf & me :)

me~

lianx a & me~

the YMs :)

momiie & baby :)

my girl.

baby Quinnabel :)

baby Quinnabel2 :)

sorry for neglecting. finally got bbQuinn's photoshoot :)

2009-07-15T23:10:00.003+08:00

hmm. finally i have the time to come & blog. im damn emo this two days, alrights.? only some knows why. boo! let's not talk about those unhappiness. hmm. work was fine with me. im happy working there. seriously, i made a true friend, she's WeiWei. a very simple girl from China. yesh, might be thinking i already says i hate CHINAs. but why still make friends with her. because she's different. we likes & loves the same thing, always think the same think, & we are always xin you ling xin. even she's bigger than me 4mths. she still calls me JieJie :)

hmm. we respect each others & shares little secrets. hhaas. loved playing at work time too. hhaas. simple loved her. okays. & not forgetting my lianx a. i love her more. hhaas. lianx a says she did something very touch for me. seriously, im so happy. even mummy also says lianx a is my longest, trueful, besties, good/best/buddy & friends :) we've know each other for total 8yrs. omg. gonna encount it till old, alrights? i love my lianx a :)

hmm. next week starting school soon. hopes everything goes well for me. i love my life. i miss boyf right now. boo! i love boyf more & more each day.!!!

forcing bbQuinn to take *twist* photos. LOL.

playing with her like my barbie doll =/

pretty bbQuinn. trying to talk & hold her milk bottle even she's still so LAZY.!

bbQuinn's stupid expression which i always like to see.

mummy say like Toa Pai Gong like that. LOL. *step one face.

finally, bbQuinn's photoshot's album arrived :)

me at work :)

3 days post in 1 :)

2009-07-12T23:28:00.002+08:00

hmm. 3 days of lost blogging. hhaas. due to accompany mrBoyf. hhaas. friday off day, met Lianx A. went to have steamboat at InternationalCentre at orchard. not bad nahs the food & service. gonna bring mummy go when my off day again. hmm. after our lunch, we went to FarEast. shopping. hhaas. after that went to Taka & Tangs. evening time went home, helped Lianx A paste the blingsblings on her hp. hhaas. (*hope she like it. LOL. after i paste my hp, it seems that im tempting alot people to do it too. LOL. no patient de ppl, dont think they will handle it.. hhaaas :).)

after helped Lianx A do finish hp, meet boyf to go his camp-mates birthday at Pasir Ris Chalet. after that went to the E-Hub to watch movie. yahs, finally watched Transformer2. damn nice. this show last for 2hr 30mins lo. damn nice. LOVE IT.!!

after that went over to boyf house to stay overnight. the next day, went work as usual. & boyf fetch me off & to work. hhaas. stay over at boyf's house from friday till last night. hmm. & now sitting here to do a short & simple updates. hhaas. gonna go sleep liaos. tata :)

PS. bbQuinnabel more & more cute lo.!! LOVE HER :)

iloveyou, baby.

bbQuinnabel.

babyGirl.

my bling bling fonie :)

my girl.

BestFriend, me & bbQuinn.

me & bbQuinn.

mummy, me & bbQuinn

me :)

BestFriendForever :)

:)

2009-07-10T00:23:00.003+08:00

hmm. nothing much. just another Thursday. yahs. tomorrow off day again. hhaas. gonna see boyf soon. boohoo! working at my new environment still okays nahs. because i wont chat with others. just stay inside shop watch movie with PSP. if not do checks on stocks. hhaas. but mush better than my ex-working place. hmm. tomorrow also dont know wanna do what. bored arr!!

hmm. told mummy that i'll work till bbQuinn is 1yrs old, after that i wanna full time look after bbQuinn. hhaas. bonding with her more. if not she'll think that i this momiie no time for her. hhaas. gonna teach her & guide her alot after that. time flies lo. super fast. now she's wearing pampers size M, drinking 5oz every 2hrs. omg. so much different. & she's more & more heavier too! i still love her lots :)

gtg. bbQuinn needs to drink milk soon. misses =/

human is indeed very selfish..

2009-07-08T00:30:00.004+08:00

dont really wished to type too long. just very pissed off by somethings. but now, my current mood is much better than just now. but seriously, i think i too easily trust a person liaos. that's why im being used & backstabbed always. haiis.

forget it. bygones is bygones. i just wanna lead a simple life with bbQuinn & boyf. that's all. the rest, fuck care man. rumors is a neverending story. but i trust myself. i can do it. yahs :)

hmm. sunday went to grandfather's house for breakfast as its grandfathers' birthday. after that headed home have a quick wash up & off we set to malaysia. hhaas. went to Gunting with parents, bbQuinn & father's friend & his wife. hmm. nice man. gave bbQuinn took her portfolio over there. damn cheap nahs. RM180 only. hhaas. now waiting for the album & photos to sent to me. hmm. shall blog tmr, im tired right now..

me & bbQuinn

sharongHong & babyQuinn

seafood by the sea :)

the OldFolks Home we visited..

had Bak Ku Teh as lunch :)

bbQuinn sleeping..

bbQuinnabel =)

mummy & bbQuinn..

precious.

2009-07-05T02:40:00.002+08:00

sha;; just short cut type a quick post man! because im so lazy to type everything out. hhaas. nothing much. friday, off day, meet Ffel & Ice & baby Xavier. hhaas. went Bugis. shop shop nahs. LOL. my bbQuinn so li hai leis. cry till like nobody business. hhaas. but still, i love her so much. i only know, bbXavier s bigger than bbQuinn 23 days. but.. .. his size is so small than my girl. because he can dont eat for long hours. but my girl leis. every 2hrs sure wake up de. i told Ice that she wake up is give me warning. she dont believe. just ask why doesnt she cry.. hhaas. but when she really cry when im still dilly dally, Ice believe me already. LOL. because bbQuinn cant stand. she too gan jiong too. LOL. my lovely girl.

& another thing is, i've sack & let the old hag eat Salt fish liao. LOL. i mean it okays. i've left my job. because, seriously, im not very happy working there lo. hope my new job will be better. & im starting my job on Tues. hhaas. all the best to myself.

PS. just came back home from boyf's house. LOL. boyf helped me take off all my extensions. LOL. i wanna change a new hairstyle.. any comments???

baby xavier & baby quinnabel..

my lovely girl :)

finally..

2009-07-03T00:34:00.003+08:00

finally, its my off day. & i can sit here blogging. but too bad for me, because i need to handle bbQuinn alone again tonight. because mummy needs to accompany granny go HuaLiao. boo! what a day. boyf came back from outfield. thanks, he didnt scold or say me about something*. hhaas. blame myself. for being so stupid to trust blogshop so much. fuck it. i email the damn person so many times & days.. the damn person didnt reply at all. & i think my money fly fly off. so sad.!!!!

hmm. am still slowly looking for a new job. hhaas. yahs, im still enduring okays? Lianx a says im stronger than her. i hope too*

hmm. i just dont know why. so many things at work place. a very long story for me to type, i also lazy to type. hhaas. so by all means, i must & will endure for the sake of money & bbQuinn okays? hhaas. tomorrow meeting Ice. hhaas. finally can see her boy. yappx. hopes everything goes well for me everyday. i know its greedy. but no choice nahs.! every human being is Greedy.!!! LOLs. GSS man! gonna buy bbQuinn more dresses.. hhaas. alot of her clothes cant be wear. so some i let her wear at home. (*Ice asked me whether i need to let her wear so nice at home mehs. LOLs. no choice nahs. dont wear at home, go out wear like too small lerh. hhaas.) yesh, bbQuinn is growing damn fast. even she's drink 4oz now, she confirm wakes up every 2hr for her milk lo. lukcy no BF liaos. if not really will be dry lo. hhaas. i love bbQuinn more & more each day. because now i play or talk to her, she will smile at me. & also, when im back home from work, she sure will wake up on time lo. like on the dot i reached home, she automatically open her eyes :)

so cute nahs. hhaas. end of mth, 24th, shall be her 3rd month injections. boo! time flies lo. so good. mummyJac can go overseas. bon voyage girl.. enjoy arr :)

bbQuinn, my love.

bbQuinn & momiieIris :)

HisLady. me @ work :)

iloveyou, my new LV :)

2009-06-30T23:34:00.002+08:00

im fine everyone. still enduring & kicking right here. hhaas. babyQuinn is doing fine already. scare me. makes me cant work well yesterday. totally no mood. seriously. first time feeling so damn low man! but anyway, since babyQuinn is doing great now, let's not talk about it lerh. hhaas. if want know then SMS me lo. hhaas.

im so in love with m new LV bag. hhaas. shall take a photo of it real soon. hhaas. & shall back to update my blog real real soon. because right now, im so tired. & im chatting on Skype with lianx a. hhaas.

PS. school starting real soon. shall be back a good & guai school girl liaos.. be right back..

emo-ing

2009-06-29T01:06:00.003+08:00

back here blogging. dont know why. but im simply feeling damn emo & sad right now. NO! i can say is whole day already.. many things man..

stress over :
- studies.
- money.
- work.
- relationship.

boo! cant explain my own feeling either. maybe i really need to be alone afew days to reflect myself.. really i need.

im in love with Gigi Leung de DanXiaoGui. hhaas. such a nice song lo.

i dont know why. i felt that actually everyone around me, some are really damn fake*. yesh.! i mean it. its very hurting when you know their true colors lo. disgusting. puii*

i told lianx a.. if 1 day im really gone.. please let me wear a beautiful white gown with black roses in my coffin. that's what i want. & helped me take care of babyQuinn.. im so scare that i cant hold on any longer. im so scare that i might collasped one day.. really.. im sorry if i fail to hold on. i know its hard for me to walk till here today, but seriously, im pretending to be happy, yet i know truely that im not very happy at all. i dont know why either. haiis. i need time & space to reflect myself. right now..

PS. its someone's special bday. i only can wish that special one a HappyBday. hope everything will be good for the special someone..

off day~

2009-06-26T11:22:00.008+08:00

right now, my off day.. ut am busy looking after my little cheeky monster. hhaas. last night reached home from work, rushed home, as mummy need to rush over to granny's place to stay overnight, afraid that daddy didnt sleep enough & had to look after my girl while im on my way home, so i really did rushed home. reached home, faster asked daddy go to sleep, as he needs to wake up very early for work.. & then my turn to bathe, & look after bbQuinn alone. last night was a tired night for me. due to working, i have not been looking after bbQuinn as mummy was the one helping me. so can say its been a week i sleep alone with bbQuinn. last night i slept with my girl again. hhaas. every 3hr wake up to make her milk & feed her.

& today i bathe bbQuinn alone without anyone's help. always with mummy around, but not today. so cute nahs. & i simply managed to bathe her without any worries, after bathing, am was helping her to wear her clothes & massage for her, then bbQuinn was playing with me. really she did. so cute.! because she was talking to me with her baby's language. LOL. all the way busy till now, got some time to blog.. so i faster blog. & need to go do housework liaos. bbQuinn is sleeping right now.. hopes she sleep all the way till i finished everything.! hhaas.

by the way, mummy accompany granny to HuaLiao today. i know, if this HuaLiao starts, we gonna count down granny's days. but i do hope god bless her to overcome everything & struggle till her birthday. dont let the forture teller said the right thing. boo! mummy say forture teller told granny that she wont live until 72yrs. & i hope she will. because granny's 72yrs bday is on august.! not only struggle till her bday over but till new year.. if can, the longer the better.! hope granny will be fine. its true i used to dont like her in the past, as she always nag & nag at me.. i know its for my own good. that's why im praying hard for her now. i love her alot, i know im bad in the past, but still she's always my loving granny.! because she'll never forget to give me a very big angbaos during my bday.. really. i miss her nagging right now..

*praying hard for granny..*

alright, shall stop here already.. gonna go liaos. anything text me.. meeting boyf later :)

PS. congrates to Celest on her baby boy arrivals:)

my dear girl.

every month de 24th, my dear girl will be like just killed ppl. LOL.

*hands & legs all red red.!!*

loving her de momiie :)
~@ work..

she place her hand at her pacifier there -> waiting for the time to arrive -> then my darling girl says :" momiie.! i took off my tutu liao.! "

*lol. so damn cute. lucky enough time to take this three cute actions of hers.!

my dear girl eating her drumstick again.

mummy helped her to clip her hair, then i took her picture.. den she frown. LOL.

*act cute nahs.

her 'step one' face again :)

her same old pattern whn she sleep.

*like somehow thinking of something like that. hhaas.

momiie & bbQuinn :)

smiles of my beautiful girl :)

my dear girl so damn cute.!

2009-06-24T00:41:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 2 MONTHS OLD.!

yesh, precious is 2 months old now. hhaas.

currently she's :

- learning to sit.

- learning to hold her milk bottle.

- drinks 120ml of milk every 2hrs.

- looks around when call her.

- when i off work reached home, she'll know im back.

- attitude. (*when drinking milks, always AP..)

- stubborn. (*dont want something means dont want. lol..)

- very dao.

- will look into camera when i wanna take her photos :)

mommy Iris & baby Quinnabel :)

happy 2 months old, my darling.

my chubby princess :)

time flies ..

me @ work..

lazy to type my blog..

2009-06-22T00:00:00.003+08:00

im lazy to type my blog right now. yesh, went back to work. long story. shall post it when im free. just finished arranging my photos. boo! gonna just post photos for now :)

for more info or more reading for this few days, stay tune.! gonna go sleep after this.. because got work tomorrow..

for the sake of BB& Boyf, i will jiayouus.!

Happy Anni, my dearest Boyf. love you :)

Happy Anni Boyf :)

my new love, missy Louis Vuiton Beary (LVB)

my precious baby :)

PS. two more days for baby to turn 2mth.

time flies :)

& mummy loves you lots.!

2009-06-20T14:52:00.002+08:00

Hello, my dear blog, im here to blog again. Currently at my boyf’s hse. Damn fucking emo & stress now. Not because of relationships prob. But about myself. I think im really in bad lucks recently. Nono. I should say, im so Heng recently. Fuck* everything okays? Firstly, handphone lost, then after that leg swollen, & now, kanna sack for no reasons. My life really so Heng* now. Im not blaming or complaining. But i just dont understand why. Why must everything be on me.. ever since after give birth, my luck wasnt been doing good. FYI, i didnt say or blame my BB okays. Just feel so damn suay lahs. School gonna starts soon. & i will be back to school on july. Full time student lo. Hopes my studies wont be affected too. I need to buck up & study hard. As promised to my dear boyf too. Haiis. & now i really wished that im not so suay, alrights? I just need a normal job which can let me supports BB’s needs, to give her a good living, as promised when i wanted to give her a living, & of course for me to supports my own stuffs, my allowance & every bills & things i need to pay. Just so simple. May i? Or am i asking too much?
Haiis. I feel that im not fit to be Quinn’s mummy. I so disapoint in myself. Right now. Because no work, no money, cant give her very best, even if i still can handle with some of my savings. Im really sucks man. If i can choose, i will choose to die. I know die cant solve any probs. But i really left with no choice. But of course i know i cant end my life just like. Because of Quinn. I have to lived strong for her. & for boyf too. Both of them needs me. & i needs them too. Their my power to live for everyday. So i must endure no matter what. Promised*
Yesterday went out with mummy, BB, Lianx A & nini, my little cousin. Meet up with lianx a at amk hub, had our breakfast, then waited for aunt to bring my little cousin over, before heading down to collect BB’s passport at Ica. Went to Ica, collect BB’s passport. & yesh, another wish for BB’s is fulfiled. Hhaas. Bb’s passport photo look so cute lo. Damn chubby. Hhaas. & the lady at Ica say Bb’s so hairy & cute. LOL. Because i let BB to wear her BEE clothes. & she’s the BEE for the day. So cutee.
After taking BB’s passport, took cab, headed over to my school to settle my studies things. Settled, went to collect my watch. Then after that took train to head to Jurong. Lianx a gonna collect her lappy. Thanks lo. Drop at the wrong stop, walked so long, reached there, in the end got the wrong thing. Lianx a damn fed up. But after that we still headed to IMM. Yappx. Starts our shopping, BB dont know what happen. Keep making a fuss. Keep want to be carried. & i carried her till my hand is pain. Haiis. But after a very very long settling, she then sleep well & didnt make a fuss. & that’s 6pm+ onwards lo.
Walked around IMM, waited aunt came, dinner together, bought my new laptop. After that, aunt drove us home. Yappx. Didnt work today, but i feel so so so tired. I rather im working lo. Boo.!
Reached home, faster settle BB. Washed up for her, make her to sleep & then i got time for myself to unpacked my bags & stuffs. Shag. Went to bathe, before sleep, make my new lappy setup, & after that, too tired, cant stand, jiu sleep le.
Early morning today, wake up, prepared. Meet boyf. & slack till now.. shall update when im free again. & im still waiting for that fucking old lady daughter of my work de to reply me & give me an explain. Boyf feels stress for me too. Haiis. Im so not a good girlf. Keep makes boyf to worried & stress for me. Im sorry, boyf..

cough is bk & my leg still the same :(

2009-06-17T22:01:00.004+08:00

@ Prima Tower.

@ Marina Barrage :)

Caiyun's son. (forgethis name spelling.)

this cute little boy :)

Boyf, me & his friends :)

my lazy girl. (die die also dont want to hold her own bottle.lols.)

my lovely girl :)

my silly girl with her innocent look again :)

my BB girl, enjoying while mummy helping her to clean her ears.!

nothing much. leg still the same swollen. omg. tomorrow morning gonna go back to doctor & see if im okay for work or not. shag. anyway, slack whole day at home, but late afternoon aunt came, drive me, mummy & BB to granny's house. omg. my dear granny is becoming more & more skinny. haiis. her health wasnt good still. everyday here pain there pain, see liao also heart pain. yappx. her result still the same. cant find the MOTHER of her cancer. so she's going through Hua Liao soon instead of operations. mummy say, if she Hua Liao, her body cant take it, then that's it. haiis. i so so so afraid granny will leave one day. hope she will endure longer. because BB still havent yet to call her once. i love you, granny.! Jiayous :)

leg swollen like f**K

2009-06-16T13:55:00.005+08:00

i miss Boyf :(

sorry, i think i have to neglect my blog for sometime. due to my injuries on my leg. my leg is worst then yesterday. just like the pig leg now. went to see doctor this morning, got injection alrdy, so let me rest well.

by the way, i've got my new handphone already, if you anything want to find me, PM me at facebook or my msn bahs. LOVEs :)

my swollen pig leg =x

PS. look at my left leg compare to my right.

so pain sia..!!

fucking SMRT taxi uncle..

2009-06-15T00:23:00.002+08:00

fucking SMRT taxi uncle.
i curse you okays.!
even if its my mistakes to drop my handphone in your cab, when leaving never do my double check.. but you are simply too fucking damn it, alrights!! i cursed you to get the same revenge like me..

nevermind. mummy say its a good sign too. even if i lost my handphone. because my lucky leaf keychain help me block way my bad luck liao. boo! im so damn clumsy to lost my handphone which i used less than 2mths. fuck! but nevermind. because im smart too. as my handphone got phone lock.. hhaas. & tomorrow before go work, before go get my new handphone, i will go police report. i mean it. because i have imei. & let's see what happen to the fucking uncle..

says goodbye to my C905. boo! & tomorrow im getting a new handphone. because i beg mummy to upgrade her line to help me get the phone.. just treat it a my 21st birthday present bahs. thanks mummy :)

but im still very sad. haiis. lucky yesterday gt blog. & i've copy & paste all my photos to my computer. im smarter than Mark Lee lo. because i didnt lost my BB's picture:)

& my leg still very swollen & pain nor. Boyf feel sad for me. Boyf, iloveyou.!

so dear friends, tomorrow when i got my new number, after my work, when i come home, please send me your number to my email or msn. alrights? loves*

2 days accompany my mr B :)

2009-06-14T01:02:00.009+08:00

alright. just type out a very simple post. because pictures will do the talks. hhaas. friday after went for interview & see doctor (*now having dry cough only. gonna be okay real soon.), when home & prepared to meet my mr Boyf. after that waited for mr Boyf to prepared at his place, then we rush to MS to get OBar's chop. then together with Boyf's campmates, we went to Selatar Airport de Sunrise Restaurant makan. the place there damn chio okays. but damn wu lu. hhaas. (*thanks to Boyf's campmates entertainment, so i wasnt that bored nahs.) hhaas. after dinner headed down to Obar again to meet my Lianx a. (*sorry to let you wait so long. love you too :).) & we started our dancing night. hhaas. was fun, i didnt drink much too. hhaas. Boyf's campmates tgt with Boyf all so joker nahs. all dance till ki siao type. but very happy & i've enjoyed alot lo. hhaas.

then as for saturday, slacked at Boyf's house till about 4.30pm, when to prepare myself & waited Boyf to prepare too then headed to Marina Barrage to help Boyf's friend to get ready the place, as Boyf's friends wanna propose to the Girlf nahs. hhaas. (*place damn chio, also very sweet propose too.!!) after the propose, headed together with all the friends to Prima Tower to have our dinner. hhaas. my dream come true one nahs. because the restaurant is the one i told Boyf that can eat there while the tower will turn round & round. hhaas. nice dinner nahs. hhaas. if i never forget, the dinner total cost is around $784++. damn ex okays? LOLS. ater dinner, slack & talk awhile, Boyf & me was really very tired, plus my leg damn pain, so never join the rest of the friends. so Boyf asked one of the friend who is not joining the afterthat program to bring me & him home. hhaas. (*thanks for the ride to my Boyf de friend. forget his name. hhaas.)

reached home, chatted with mummy awhile & bathe then blogging lo. hhaas. mumm told me that BB know how to play with people already. my smart girl nahs. hhaas. love her lots lots okays? 1 whole day never see her, my heart so stress. hhaas. i love you, my BB.!! & of course iloveyou, my Boyf :)

@ Marina Barrage

Lovely Boyf & me. Our Promise Ring :)

Lianx a & me.
me~

my darling girl :)

a saddening incident

2009-06-12T01:42:00.003+08:00

A saddening incident happened on 6thJune2009. after a quarelling CANDICE jumped down from the 8th floor..

Before she die, witnesses(a group of young people) saw them quarreling at 85 market, and her BF even throw an unopen can of beer at her head.. then the group of young people came and help her.. she then stick to them.. during this time, she tried to avoid tat BASTARD BF..but not long after, tat Bastard found her. he grabbed her hand and elbow lock her from the neck and pull although she resisted.. then finally pull her hair again and dragged her all the way to his house ..awhile later, the group of guy worried about her, went to search for her, soon after when they wanna gave up searching, they heard shouting from 1 of the blk upstair..when they wanna go up to assist and save her, they saw her plunged from 8th storey..Then after she died, tat BASTARD jus stay calm and just do nothing abt it.. AND WHEN SHE DIE, SHE WAS STILL BITING HER OWN TONGUE(which mean cannot R.I.P!) TAT BASTARD AARON can even lied about the whole incident to CANDICE BRO. when a group (not jus 1 person) saw everything.. Candice Goh Hui Yi died at such a young age most UNWILLINGLY.. this ain't so simple? I DO NOT BELIEVE SHE WILL JUMP.Those who know Candice well will know she would never and ever do such things..*She loves to be pretty..*so afraid of even the slightest pain..*told some of her friends tat she'll never die for boyfiend.*how is it possible she will end her life when:*she's going for a holiday with her family the next day..*found a new job starting work after her holiday..*planned everything to live her life to the fullest AND*she never leave any suicide note

~AN EYE FOR AN EYE.WAD GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.

~CANDICE'S LINK
-http://profiles.friendster.com/candicelovesaaron

~THAT SINNER AARON'S LINK
-http://profiles.friendster.com/3212389

THANKSFOR READING AND DO PASS ON, LETTING EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THIS TRAGIC INCIDENT.

she died too WRONGFULLY.no one saw HIM push her over so lucky of him.BUT, the truth will be out soon.above message was related by her brother-KENcommented and pass this bulletin down..

-CANDICE R.I.P

-Adapted from a person's blog.

was randomly reading other bloggers' blog. & got to read this. omg. this pretty girl, was dead so wrongly. & the bastard bf is te one who shld responsible sia. he's not a gentleman at all. pull her hair & ill-treated her in public. this girl's story let me think of my past. but lucky, i choose to leave that bastard. if not, i think i might have the same ending with this pity girl. (*chio lah.. lucky im awake.!) but hope everything of the truth will come out soon. may the girl rest in peace.

PS. cherish everything when you have now, before one day its gone without saying, & dont ever feels regret about it.. life is precious too.

& im still, Cough, Cough, Cough, cough non-stop.!!!!

yappx, later can see my mr B & lianx a & crystal liaos :)

gonna miss my miss BB.! (*BB must be guaii arr. mummy go out enjoy awhile..lols)

tired & still very sick..

2009-06-10T00:54:00.006+08:00

im so tired right now. so just let photos do the talk. update real soon. muacks.

hhaas. dont miss me, alrights?

goosh.! precious kanna scare dao. mummy bought her to temple & ask lerh. so right now, i think precious cant be scare. must fully under protections & love. if not it will be hard for us to take care in future. loves*

omg! im stil so sick. my sound lost. i cant talk properly lo. boo! throat damn pain.

my cute little precious :)

me~

mummy & precious love.

my little B :)

PS. she seems to like frowning lo.

sick!

2009-06-08T00:43:00.004+08:00

OMG! im sick lo. boo! sorry for not blogging this two days. am sick lerh. down with flu & bad cough for this 2 days lo. i hate to be sick & now im so sick. hope wont pass to BB bahs.

alrights, been with B since friday night, saturday & sunday. acc him whole day all the way lo. nothing much, just slack at home to watch drama & only went to B's friends house for steamboat. boos! & there goes my weekends. hhaas. now still cant sleep because BB doesnt want to go to bed yet. naughty girl sia.* :)

hmm. gonna try to turn in asap. as tomorrow got check up for me. & i think i need to see a doctor if my cough & flu wasnt getting much better. & after that i think im going Bugis with mummy they all. because i wanna go make BB's passport liao. hhaas. so can bring her go overseas soon. hhaas. so smart of me. LOL. tuesday im starting work. so i need to get better.! god bless me. missed B:)

B & me~

ForeverLove.
PS. iloveyou

last but not least, my BB :)

PS. i dont know why either. but im just feeling so sad when i saw those msges which i dont wished to know at all. im sad & im jealous also. because iloveyou, & i wanna cherish this relationship like you always told me that you're.. quarrels may be very unhealthy for our relationship, but i know & believe it will pull us together even closer. after all, you're always my silly B:)

drunk night~

2009-06-05T11:06:00.008+08:00

hey peeps:)

here to blog alittle & im going back to my lala land. boos~

yesterday meet my lovely, PrettyHong. hhaas. went to FEP, had our lunch & start our job hunt. hhaas. yesh, i found a job. & im starting on next tuesday. hhaas. the working place not bad. because the boss said she will give me a pair of boots(lucky never buy from YP yet) to match with their clothes over there. hhaas. they hire me straight lo. the place quite lovely too. hope i will settle down to work there.

after our job hunt. went to take cab back to Amk to fetch my BB from my parents there. went to my house nearby de Mac makan & bought BB back home. after that slack & wait till my parents came back then we went to BoatQuay. drink not alot, but untill now, i still feel "mabo" lo. hhaas. i think my drinking skill fail liaos. hhaas. shall stop here. just let the photos to do the talks. im going to sleep again :)

me~

Iris & Sharon =D

BB sleeping inside sarong :)

1st long distance outing with BB & sharon

2009-06-03T23:13:00.010+08:00

alright. didnt want to be naggy at my blog. so shall just type a simple entry for the day. hhaas. yesterday bought BB to meet lianx a for dinner at HougangMall alone. hhaas. not bad. i pass nahs. lianx a give BB a new nick call Step Yi Ge. lol. because she say BB keep step one face for her. lols.

then today as promised, meet up my lovely pretty hong. went to Central find YP then go Chinatown do threading then went Bugis walk walk & shop shop. hhaas. thank you, pretty hong for helping me to carry my heavy bags. hhaas. love you okays? hhaas. not bad, bought BB to so many place today without worrying. i think i should start training myself to bring pram out too. i must jiayou wors. hhaas. abit tired now. so shall watch my drama awhile jiu sleep lerh. hhaas. tomorrow gonna go meet my pretty hong again :) but no more mama's day. because im meeting her alone. we go romantic arr :))

sharon & iris*

me~me~me

Pretty hong with BB :)

me& BB.

my BB.

yesterday's outing. me & BB. iloveyou*

yesterday lianx a took de :)

my first time bathing BB :)

2009-06-02T11:32:00.004+08:00

hmm. today is my first time bathing BB alone. but still got mummy at my side look out nahs. because im still new. ima new mummy alrights? hhaas. im learning very hard. wanna be a very good mummy, is very hard & tough, but i know, if i have the patient & make an effort at it, i will be able to be one. just like Fannie :)

hmm. but i know i scare BB yesterday. too rush liaos. so i kanna scare & BB know im scare, so both scare together. but now, everything is okay already. BB will give mummy more time to get used right? hhaas. she's my lovely girl. everyday seeing her grow up, my heart is fulfil & happy. i dont know why. but i dont mind watching her cry too. she's my everything. seriously. her smiles, her cries all also will be affected to me. i simply love her lots nahs. promise will really work hard for her.!

BB is 1mth & 9days old liao. so fast. time flies. mummy say she's behaving like me when im small too. sleeping positions & stuff. all like me. hhaas. im so happy. grandmother still haven't come. maybe today or tomorrow. must depends on my uncle when wann drive them out. hhaas. grandmother is so anxious to see BB. boo! she's loved by everyone.

i wanna make BB's passport.!!! soon.!! hhaas. wanna bring her go JB to shop shop. lols. & tomorrow im meeting my dearest Sharon Hong. hhaas. will be bringing BB along. hope i can handle everything :)

PS. the photos de clothes & everythng is given by Winnie & Daniel. hhaas. she wear lerh, so look like a boy lo =x

3days blog :)

2009-06-01T10:47:00.007+08:00

boo! sorry for the neglect. been busy outing lo. hhaas. let me roughly go through my daily outings profile. hhaas.

- Friday, meet B. went to Tampines1 & TampinesMall & CenturySquare walk walk. B bought me to CrystalJade for our dinner. he order SharkFin for me. boo! i dont really know how to eat lo. hhaas.

- Saturday, meet B. slack till 1pm+, went to VivoCity. walk walk, watched our first movie, NightsAtTheMusesum2. not bad. but B say not very nice. boo:)
went to "HeiSheHui" de restaurant to have our lunch. B bought me a bag @ Charles&Keith. *thanks,B :)
after movie, cabb-ed home. had dinner with mummy & B at my house downstairs de coffee shop. then after that B went for his MJ sessions. while i go home with mummy & BB. shagg. because need to look after BB, so never join B.

- Sunday, didnt meet B. because went out with mummy & ahyi & cousins. went to Expo. went to JohnLittle fair. bought some housewhole stuffs. walk walk till 7pm+ then cabb-ed home. kept my room, change bedsheets, as grandmother is coming from malaysia either today or tomorrow. so gonna pack up some stuffs, if not later the two little monster will come play with my stuffs again. hhaas. did my stuffs till 12am+. sleep, didnt sleep well, because BB dont wanna sleep. think she sleep too much in the day bahs.

this few days always like that. hmm. very tired lo. & now here blogging. because mummy took over to look after her awhile. if not, i think i wont have the time to type my post lo. shagg. later gonna go Ntuc with mummy. that's all peeks :)

PS. me & B, are officially together already. i think, its better not to look back, im scare of my past. im tired of crying like the past. nobody will know what will happen during the next few hours. B have done alot for me. i think, i shouldn't let him wait anymore. its unfair. why not just give each other a try, & see what comes after that. happiness? unhappiness? nobody knows. just let fate decides everything..

mummy helping BB to comb her hair.. her pattern so cuteee :)

my BB :3

the SharkFin & Food @ CrystalJade.

Officially Couples :3

i believe we will hold on.

because i believe in you & everything.

Iloveyou, B.

BB's first swim :)

2009-05-28T22:26:00.014+08:00

shall just type a short post bahs. went out with mummy & sharon & BB :) went to PS. hhaas. let BB have her first swim finally. super cute nahs. im so enjoy with my day out with BB, mummy & sharon. never thought that BB can swim & move around in the water so well. omg. until now i still miss her looks at the place lo.

boohoo! STACEY ONG YENPING, owe me & sharon her nipples & nose. we will cut off soon :/

nw just let pictures do the talk. because right now, im so so tired. i wanna sleep already. yappx. tomorrow is the day. meeting B tomorrow :)

BB enjoying :)

*she's so cute & super good at swimming lo..*

mother & daughter :)

my darling BB :)

mummy & BB :)

BB was so enjoying her swimming today :)

2009-05-27T20:23:00.002+08:00

Greatness as you
smallest as me
You show me
what is deep as sea

A little love,
little kiss
A litlle hug,
little gift
all of little something
these are our memories

You make me cry
make me smile
make me feel that love is true
You always stand by my side
I don't want to say goodbye

You make me cry
make me smile
make me feel
the joy of love
oh kissing you
Thank you for all the love
you always give to me
oh I love you

Greatness as you
smallest as me
You show me
what is deep as sea

A little love,
little kiss
A litlle hug,
little gift
all of little something
these are our memories

You make me cry
make me smile
make me feel that love is true
You always stand by my side
I don't want to say goodbye

You make me cry
make me smile
make me feel
the joy of love
oh kissing you
Thank you for all the love
you always give to me
oh I love you

Yes I do,

I always do.

You make me
cry make me smile
make me feel
that love is true
You always stand by my side
I don't want to say goodbye

You make me cry
make me smile
make me feel
the joy of love
oh kissing you
Thank you for all the love
you always give to me
oh I love you

To be with you,
oh I love you

-------------------

Ps. This song i find it very meaningful. & i wanna present this song to him, my B. Thanks for being there always for me. I know you have put in alot for me, & you didnt complain at all. Im very happy for all the things you've done for me. We might have little quarrels over something sometimes, but still, we are back to normal after that. Im happy that god bought us to know each other. Thank for for everything :)

BB's first injection :)

2009-05-27T15:32:00.005+08:00

today bought my BB for her injection at Amk Polyclinic. omg. saw the needle, i almost faint, but never faint nahs. BB cried when the injection went into her right leg. so heart pain nor. nothing much. after her injection, me & mummy went to Mac to have our breakfast, then follow by Ntuc. after that, daddy came to fetch us go eat lunch & back home. reached home, do some tidying to my room. till not long, feeding BB soon. gonna go. just let photos do the talk bahs.! hhaas. my BB more & more sweet nahs.!

B say friday bring me go Pasir Ris de Summer Breeze drink.! hhaas. waiting*

BB :)

iloveher:)

BB's new sleeping position. hhaas.

BB is learning to sit now :)

*she very chu lu lorr*

=) im so happy..

2009-05-26T21:01:00.002+08:00

im so so happy.! because yesterday is my first time alone taking care of BB.! from yesterday onwards i need alone to take care of BB.! & i've passed. hhaas. not bad arr. but hor, i was so afraid that i fall asleep deeply. so i only sleep & awake. just to look at her. hoping that i never sleep on her too. LOL. BB was so naughty, put her to her cot, she doesnt want, so i have to let her sleep by my sides. that's the only way she fall asleep deeply. in the past, with mummy around, she will sleep on her cot or my mummy/me just pat her on our chest.. but now.. hard lerh. but still, i can make it lahs. whahas. & now, blogging awhile, & i need to watch tv, because my show, today gonna DA JIE JU lerh =(

wonderful day with my girls.

2009-05-26T12:03:00.005+08:00

yesterday went to make my return school things & interview. after that went to AMK to meet my lovely sisters. boohoo! accompany StaceyOng go put her lovely & sweet tattoo. LOL. waited for her damn long. due to her pause & contiune during putting the tattoo. hmm. after that went to AMK Hub walk walk, shop for my BB's hangers. too bad. all sold out. dont have, so we bought drinks & chit chat at taxi stands. thanks to my two lovely sisters, SharonHong & StaceyOng, they accompany me to wait till peak hour finish. we chatted alot. hhaas.

our new friend, 牛奶. just knew through friends de 牛奶. whahas. we bet on something. its between me, Sharon & Stacey. if 牛奶 gets 10, me & stacey will chop off our ear & put it on our hand & bring go TTSH to sew it back. if its single digit, sharon will chop off her foot & bring to TTSh to sew it back. hhaas. What a joke.! LOL. i've learnt something. never put too much hope to yourself, if not it will turn to be a joke for friends to bet on. but anyway, 牛奶 hope that you will not score what we said. if not sure die.

牛奶牛奶牛奶 :)

always remebered de 牛奶.!

my precious :)

after shading.

before shading.

when putting. LOL. *taken by SH*

YMs. sisters love :)

cam-wh0ring.

=)

2009-05-25T12:14:00.003+08:00

Happy 1mth old, my BB.!

finally you are 1mth's old liaos. mummy loves you.! mummy will give you all the best & all the loves :)

peekaboo! nothing to blog. just before i go get myself prepare for interview later. shall just post out my BB's 1mth photo. because yesterday is the day she's officially 1mth old. hhaas. & yesterday, mummy, me, brother & his gf help BB to do her hands & foots prints on the scrap book, after done, BB's hand turns out to be like just murder someone. so cute.!! when brother keep open her hand to print on the scrap book, she keep close. so funny lo. boo!

my precious one :)

at last my baby quinn is 1mth old :)

2009-05-24T10:51:00.008+08:00

boo! happy 1mth to my BB.! time flies lo. hmm. dont wish to type too long. just wanna thanks to those who came & those gifts & angbaos. hhaas.

a million thanks to my two lovely sister, SharonHong & Yenping. thanks for coming so early yesterday. & helping me out to pack my giveaway gifts & feed my BB when im busy. love you all nahs. free then meet up, then i treat you all eat ice cream :)

thanks for all the gifts & angbaos :)

sisters-love*

my lovely girls :)

my precious gem :)

her pretty mumii =x

=x 2 more days to BB's full mth

2009-05-21T11:01:00.008+08:00

time flies sia. 2 more days to BB's full month. im so looking forward. & have been start preparing everything. hmm. yesterday morning bought BB to polyclince for the last check up of Jaundice. yesh, doctor say its now 13 liaos. so is very very safe. nothing lerh. & BB's health is as pink as her pram lo. hhaas. in other words, meaning BB's health is very good. & her poo poo got blood is nothing also. maybe due to hot weathers bahs. hhaas. after check up, went to eat something & i went for my interview, while mummy wait for me at Amk Hub with BB. hhaas. nothing much about the interview. still considering. because working place will be at commonwealth. boo! its damn far okays? hmm. after my interview, took cab back to Amk Hub to meet mummy. went to walk around. hhaas. nothing much, went home think too tired, fall asleep lo. shag. i also dont know what to blog liaos. but now resting awhile, because im alone at home looking after BB. so need to wait for mummy come home then i can start packing my room. because BB's eye keep open big big one moment, then fall asleep after i make her to bed, its like very hard for me to do my things. so i shall wait for mummy come home. boo. last night mumm say this week shall be the last week she sleep with me during night time. because i have to learn to take care of BB alone at night liao. hmm. so meaning from next week onwards, i will be alone doing everything till i find a job lo. hope i can do it :)

hmm. nothing much liaos. shall just blog up some pictures. & tomorrow finally can go do my hair extension lo. im so looking forward. hhaas. & also not forgetting my darling, sharon will be meeting her =x

my size totally back to square lo. BOO!

BB's eyes so big. boo! hhaas. she wearing the gift from winnie & daniel. look somuch not like a girl lo =x

mummy & BB =x

watching her grow up everyday, im so happy that i never regret giving birth to her =)

boo! did some spring cleaning.

2009-05-19T16:13:00.009+08:00

boo! just finished with my spring cleaning for my room & for BB's wardore lo. im abit tired now. & the stupid weather still so hot. cant stand it. bleahs. nothing much. shall just update alittle of BB's videos & her pictures bahs. lovelove*

yappx. tomorrow gonna bring BB for her Jaundice check up. last check up, i think. hhaas. then after that gonna go for my job interview. hope it will success. boo*

mummy & BB:)

lols. she staring on air. then i take photo. boo!

her little feet & my big feet.

our bonding love :)

see her reactions. when i just wanna snap shot her. hhaas.! so kawaii :)

BB's wardore one. LOLs. overshot. mummy said that i bought too much clothes for her. its like, she not scare no clothes liao lo. no choice. i love her. when i see cute things, she's the first i thought of. hhaas. muacks*

BB's bed have been moved to be by my side. so i can watch her during night times.

BB's second & third wardore. boo.! so many things lo. i have a hrad time sorting everything out. but still, i made it. its neat & tidy now :)

mummy wanted to help her burp. then BB is like she think she grow up liao lo, keep use her strength to lean backwards, in the end use cry to win. LOL. chilli padi :)

nothing to do. so put BB lean front way. then she cry till like we beat her. my little chilli padi sia =x

i simply hate passer-bys

2009-05-19T11:14:00.003+08:00

f**k. im very piss off. i know i shouldnt. but hor. those PASSER-BY please stop spouting nonsense here when you dont know anything. okays. you want you just type your big name to tag on my tagboard. if not, please click on the top right corner & f**k off. i have said a hundred times, my BB, my baby quinn DOESNT NEED A DADDY.! & SHE DOES NOT HAVE A DADDY.! so stop saying that she look like him.! this is my blog. i only welcome those who tag in my tagboard with their big names. & not those with no names. if this carries on, i think i shall lock my blog to private blog instead. im super duper piss off.

all this happens, because *he* did not cherish me in the past. i will never forget how *he* walk away & left me alone. & i will not forget how the way *he* treated me.! i had enough of the past. now, i just wanna lead with my own life. i just want to be happy with my love ones & my BB. nothing else. what past is past. i've already made my way untill here without *him*. im happy. im really happy. i just want to forget everything that happen in the past. its all the nightmares. i dont want to be like the past crying every night. begging *him* & throw my pride away. im really tired. its over. my life now is much better. much happier. & i just want life to be like that. that's all. so "unknown" people, please stop talking rubbish when you dont know what is happening in my blog. i dont welcome you, seriously. please leave my life alone.

& now, looking after BB alone, mummy went to market. did sending resume just now. & now playing with a new online game. not bad. the game quite fun. i might be abit slow in the game now, but im learning, okay? hhaas. its something like O2Jam. if wanna try new game during your bored time, you can sign up @ http://www.jamlegend.com/refer/rf/408254 . hope you guys enjoy this game i intro :)

so boring :(

2009-05-18T20:41:00.002+08:00

im bored. i dont know why. sleep through the whole afternoon. late evening mummy carry BB by my side, & i slept wit my BB. hhaas. then mummy was saying, me & BB's sleeping position almost the same. so "chu lu". hhaas. what to do. like mother like daughter. boo! watching her sleeping so soundly, i was about to wash up myself & eat my dinner, BB wake up. hhaas. so mummy help me to wash up for BB. hhaas. so kind of her. but mummy says, tonight gonna throw me alone with BB. because she bth liao. lols. but i know she joking. because she wont bear to see me cant handle BB well. hhaas. so i love my mummy nahs.!

out of the sudden, i felt that i've changed alot. eversince i left behind the past. my past is a mess. a very big mess. but now, i've grown up. really. im tired & regret for what i've done in the past. thanks to my friends & those who supported me. im happy with my everything. including my B. i really appreaciate everything i have now, no regrets with the things & path i've choosen.

& now with my life completely turned around by the life of someone new. She is the reason I live now. The reason I breath. She brought me an experience, no woman is complete without. She brought me pain, that no men will ever understand. A gift that can never be replaced. My life will no longer be only about me, it will revolve around BB, my darling girl, my little angel :)

3 more days to my freedom.

2009-05-18T10:15:00.007+08:00

boo.! 3 more days to go. then i can go out already. whahas. so happy. yesh, my bb is sleeping right now, so again, i have sometime to come blogging again. hhaas. my brother told mummy that baby quinn is growing. yahs. now seems to be fatter liao. but to me, i only find her growing taller than her usual height. hhaas. aiyos. all the same nahs. as long as she's healthy & guai can liao. hhaas.

yesterday aunt came to visit BB. she say BB look like boy. boo.! why everyone say BB look like boy? does she? shag. but to me & mummy, she's our little princess. hhaas. when she cries, we tried to ignore her, but hor.. she cry till more & more fierce lo. like we bad treat her. till our heart melted, & we carry her again. & this few days, she seems like keep wanting people to play or carry her then she willing to sleep lo. omg. its a bad habit to carry her always when she cried. i know. but.. watching her cry so badly & loud, i feel heart pain nor. my little chilli padi melts my heart so easily. bleahs. but i love her more than words :)

see. mummy burping her, i find her face look so cute. hhaas. like very "mian qiang" look :)

baby quinn sneeze till very funny. & now she knows that im using camera to take photos/video her. & she will look at me like very blur face :)

baby quinn dancing with her hands & legs when i turn on the children's sing song cd :)

PS. when you tell me you regretted for the past, its too late for apologise. if you didnt treasure everything you used to have before, so why regret now?

boo.! my first interview & first date wit my bii :)

2009-05-16T21:13:00.006+08:00

boo.! wake up in the morning 8.30am. but i slack at bed till 8.45am. hhaas. lazy me. wake up, went to bathe. (*only once) because i need to preapre myself for my first interview after o long no work. after bathe, eat & prepare myself. hhaas. & waited for my B to come meet me. yappx. B reached liao, then i went down, we bus-ed to Amk Mrt, took train down to Raffles. was still early for my interview, so we went to find a place to sit & wait.

went for my interview. a very strict interview indeed. because i went for interview at a lawfirm. boo.! interview for the job of a secretary lo. omg. very long interview too. alrights. then i was asked to think properly for about 1 week, whether i wanna take this job anot. because i need to accept the stress working with lawyers. actually, its not bad. because they will provide me fees if i wanna study any course. but still, i just dont know i cant take stress anot. after so long no work. & this job must be working long term. as in working for more than 2 years type. im so stress now. im thinking hard. this job to me, not bad. because its a long term job, i wont scare about losing job. just that im scare about the stress i gonna take. shag. *thinking*

after my interview, went Bugis with B. actually wanna go back school make my things. because its time for me to return for my studies. but stupid. alma went back home. she's my student manager, so no choice cant do the arrangement, so B & me headed to junction for our date. hhaas. B bought me the watch which i long wanted to buy. so happy. (*thanks,B:)*) then went to BHG, bought my baby quinn a cute rompers suit & a white booties. hhaas. on sales lo. the rompers i've long wanted to buy. just that its a little too expensive. then so thanks to the super sales. it cost me $13 now lo. so bought it. hhaas. after that, went to the new shopping opposite junction, walked around & acc B to buy his shoes & earpiece. after shopping, went to eat at village coffeeshop..

hhaas. so happy lahs. can go out :) but sians, mummy keep asking me to go home early. nevermind.! next friday, i can go shopping :) will be meeting my darling, sharon. hhaas. gonna go do my hair extenstions :) im coming, my dearest friday.!

PS. was out from morning till evening, & i told B that i miss baby quinn so much when im not home lo. boo.! silly me :)

I love my B & BB :)

i tot she was sleeping, so i wanna took random pictures with her, but when i took, *tatah* she smile.! so cute :) simply love her more & more.

iloveyou, my B*

gifts from frens :)

2009-05-15T15:00:00.004+08:00

Gifts from friends who visited me:)

PS. still got somemore. havent take photo.

thanks so much.

loves* friends.

from myself :)

from Winnie & Bf

from Peggy & Bf.

3rd week..

2009-05-15T13:21:00.007+08:00

my baby quinn is now currently 3rd week old. boo.! guess what. she knows how to turn herself lerh lo. super duper fast sia. cos morning sh was awake, at there cry alittle, then before daddy goes work, he put baby quinn sleeping face the bed while the back face the ceiling, then within 1 min, she turns herself back to normal sleeping position. lols. den daddy & mummy says she damn damn "gu" in hokkien lo. something like very "niu" hhaas. & now, mummy helping to burp her, she is looking at the computer. as if she knows & whats going on lo. super duper cute nahs. hhaas.

as for me, im busy sending resume for jobs. confinement is ending soon. & i need to get mysel a stable job. if not my baby quinn gonna eat grass liao. hhaas. cos she's a very very big eater now. hhaas. so scary lo. boo.! time flies. baby quinn is changing everyday. size abit bigger i think. lols. i dont know also. because im facing her everyday. hhaas. just that now & then when she sleeps, she will cry. because mummy say she have bad dreams. then need to carry her & put her back to sleep. this little chilli padi of mine, cries like people beat her, so fierce.. but still, i love her lahs.! hhaas. got two videos of her will update real soon. 1 is she knows that im video-ing her, then she at there lying & play. & 1 more is i open the baby song, she was lying there dancing with her hands & legs. so cutee :)

lols. when she cries, she wil cry till got " huat arr" & "ong arr" sound out. LOL. mummy say next word she cry will cry "ma arr".. lol. lame jokes nahs. but i so looking forward for her to call me soon :) *waiting*

changed my blogskins again. the previous one keep giving me headache. boo.! hope this one is better:)

1 more week to go :)

see her sleeping position. her legs can sleep till side ways lo.

the little boster i gave her. 1 for me & 1 for her. i just put beside only, she make it to be like that. lols. so cutee :)

she knows how to hold her "tu-tu" liaos :)

baby quinn sleeping in her rocker. got vibrator de lo. she so enjoying her life. boo.! cost me over $100+. too bad. no pink color.

when i playing computer, mummy helping to burp her, she looking at the computer with this face. LOLs.

changed a new blogskins again.

2009-05-13T13:13:00.005+08:00

hhaas. peekaboo :)

yappx. changed of new blogskins again. yesh, shall let me update alittle. hhaas. nothing much, just sent out resume for jobs, yesh, got 1 call me lerh. tomorrow gonna go down for interview. still dont know mummy allows anot. but will try to ask her later. as she's out to help me find baby quinn's full mth giveaways items. yappx. have been preparing for baby quinn's full mth this few days. as she's going full mth next week. im so so so happy. hhaas. re-make baby quinn's cot. because mummy & i think that the high cot will make her fall out anytime if we didnt lock it. because baby quinn have been sleeping from 12(clocktime) then will twist & turn till 1 or 2pm(turning clockwise). boo.! daddy says that baby quinn also very strong liaos. when we carry her head with our hands, then her leg on our stomach, she will like want to jump. she very strong okays.! if never handle her properly i think she'll fall lo.

& her head too. turning very fast whenever she wants milk. & the same old pattern she will do when milk time arrives. hhaas. very cute. just didnt managed to capture her cute looks. soon bahs.!! hhaas. yesh, baby quinn have been growing very fast. currently, she's still breastfeed & drinks formula milks too. she's drinking her formula milk at 80ml lerh. then during night time from 11pm onwards, every 1 hour she will want to eat. if not she will cry & cry. & she every 1 hour eat till about 3am, then she will settle down to sleep till morning. lucky got mummy help. if not i ki siao lerh. hhaas. she's a very big eater lo. gonna eat till i broke. hhaas. & now she's sleeping soundly in her bouncer :D

FYI, will update about baby quinn's full mth information soon. preparing the name list too. hhaas.

my birth story.

2009-05-12T19:55:00.002+08:00

Here's my birth story. hhaas. i know many have been waiting for this. hhaas. so i shall blog up now.

24th April, that early morning. didnt sleep through the nights. dont know why either. maybe too anxious already. hhaas. then went to bathe at 6.30am, waited for daddy to come & picked me up, & then fetched mummy up from TTSH. about 7am, daddy reached, & i went down. fetched mummy at TTSH. reached KKH at about 7.30am. it was still very early, so mummy & i decided to go to the food court to have our breakfast. i think i toonervous & anxious that day. didnt eat anything. only drink milo & the chicken essence at home. about 8am, walked up to delivery suites. stupid missys. told me that the labour room is full. is either i go walk around to wait for the room to be vacant or i can choose to wait at the waiting point over there. & she told me that im the 3rd patients. which is meaning i must wait till the first 2 lady's to go in first then it will be my turn. first time, my deliver time & date was arranged by the doctor the other day. then that day they tell me no room. have to wait. (*very good"bad" service indeed lo. boo.!) nevermind. so i said, okays, i wll sit there & wait. because i already prepare everything lerh, cant be telling me to go home de mahs. so i waited there. guess what. from 8am, i sitted at the sofa with mummy, wait till abt 12pm, the missy came telling me: "you stil waiting ar? or you want come back tomorrow?" i was like, *wtf.. then i started to make a fuss. then the missy bth lo, went into the labour room, dont know how or what, then she says: "alright, now your turn liao. i arrange a room already.." stupid lo. when i was doing the admission with mummy, then 2/3 more lady came in, saying they have the induce appointments too. & wanted to do admission, then same replys, no room. then i didnt care much. because it wasnt my problem at all.

went into the labour room at about 12.15pm. take off clothes, lying there, waiting for the nurses to prepare everything. 1.31pm, doctor came in, she told me she wanna check on my cervix, then god knows, suddenly i feel i was like urine like that, warm water came flowing out from my below lo. then the doctor told me that she already burst my waterbag & my waterbag alot water lo. hhaas. the feeling of waterbag is nothing. but the feeling of the waterbag coming out from my below is like urine lo. then the nurse keep help me changed & trying to make dry my bed. i feel abit dirty & er xin. but nevermind, didnt complain much, because i want & hope baby quinn faster deliver. hhaas. about 3pm+, the epridural doctor came & do the epridural thing for me. lols. i was electric shock lo. out of the sudden i was like kanna sot, then jump up abit. scare me lo. then the nurse holds my hand & keep talking to me, because she dont want me to get influence by the process of putting the epridural. hmm. after that i starts to feel numb.

then was lying there & watched tv with mummy. about 5pm+ i keep tell mummy that i feel like shitting. then mummy say cant be, because i didnt eat things where got shit. hhaas. then i didnt really care about it either. hhaas. then about 6pm+ when the nurse came in, wanted to insert the urine tube thing for me, i got the feeling again. then the nurse checked & say: "your cervix opening, baby's head coming out soon." i was like, omg. doctor haven come insert the induce thing leis. just the drip, the epridural was done only leis. then the nurse ask me to push. so i followed. push & push till i no strength lo. omg. then about 6.30pm, the nurse turn off my epridural, & i start got the contraction pains cum shitting feeling. omg. im more & more nervous lo. then starts to push & push. till 7pm+, finally, after the 2 cuts, & the nurse helped of shaking my baby quinn's out from my stomach, baby quinn finally was delivered.

delivery was so pain lo. then i keep crying, mummy cried too. then she helped my wipe my sweat, after about 2-3mins, i feel much relieved. then mummy went to help me look at baby quinn & take photos. while i lying there no strength, waiting for the doctor to help me sew my wounds. while waiting, i keep ask for the epridural again. the epridural doctor came, turn on the thing, then the epridural haven even enter my body, the doctor started sewing, the pain of the sewing is damn damn pain & erxin. i keep talking & asking the doctor thing, i thought i can stop thinking about the pain, but wasnt at help at all. boo.! delivering a child isnt that easy at all. so much pain. & now, i finally know why a mother was so wei da liaos.

after the sewing, mummy went home, because it was late enough & she is very tired already. after rushing me & granny's thing for so long. then i was alone waiting for the nurse to prepare my ward, then the nurse asked me to breastfeed baby quinn awhile before she goes to the nursery & stuff. i dont dare to touch baby quinn the very first day. i told mummy that she look like "tofu" to me. i was scare, & i asked mummy to carry her away first. about 11pm+, the nurse came, gave me hot milo & biscuits. its my first meal for the day lo. then after i eat & drink, she pushed me to my ward. reached my ward, nurse came again, preparing & asking me whether i wanted to urine or not. i was so scare that i cant urine & must insert tube & stuff, so i asked the nurse whether can i go toilet try. lucky. got urine. hhaas. then i was relieved.

at my bed, i cried for an hour plus before i can fall asleep. i cried not because of anything. i cried because i felt relieved & happy. everything is over. that very night, my wounds was so pain, & i had low blood. nurse & i thought i can go to the toilet myself as i've urine onced. but never did i know, during midnight when i wanted to go to the toilet myself, i fainted, lucky got the nurse doing spot check, she came & hold me back to my bed. during my 2 days in hospital, everytime i try going to the toilet myself, i keep feel blackout, then cold sweats coming out. & will feel very weak. maybe due to too much blood i lost. because i dont have much blood too. so will get all these problems.

thanks for all my girls, my aunties' visit & gifts. hhaas. thanks for accompany me too. hhaas. especially my dearest mummy too. love her lots lahs. hhaas.

& that's how my birth story ends. hhaas. its very memorable. because the pain & tears i had, i will always feel it, untill today. its all worth it. because god gave me this expensive gift, my dear baby quinn, my everything.

PS. gonna go liao. my little chilli padi need to drink milk again. hhaas.

finally my internet is back man .! Boohoo :)

2009-05-12T18:01:00.009+08:00

boohoo. finally my internet is back man. omg. f**king sad life without internet. because i cant do anything. & the stupid confinement. just wished it ends faster. hhaas. still got 1 more week to go. & baby quinn's full month will be round the corner. hmm. so much lack of update. but anyway, just let me wished Nana & Genoveva. both of their little ones arrived this morning. hhaas. welcome to the mummy's world.! hhaas. hope to see their little ones photos.

as for me. dont wished to talk so much. just let pictures do my updates. hhaas. last but not least, my girl is more & more like chilli padi. boo! because she can suddenly cry like no people business. scary sia. hhaas. & she's super cute.! love her lots :)

boo. today went for baby quinn's jaundice check up. yappx. her jaundice drop to 117 liao. next week will be the last check up for her. hhaas. & yst went to Compass point with mummy. bought baby quinn's stroller. PINK color too. hhaas. & bought her a bouncer too. hhaas.

yappx. saturday night, celebrates mother's day with mummy, my two brother, brother's girlfriend & LCW. hhaas. ordered pizza, & shared with brother to buy a cheesecake for mummy. hope she enjoyed. hhaas. & im enjoying mother's day too. because its my first time. hhaas. even my darling quinn cant call me mummy now. im waiting.

PS. 10 more days to go from now. & everything will be different. hhaas. im loving it.

Tags to replied :

=) :happy mother's day!! how's rui en?? still doing good?? hmmm. hope i can see her ba.. u text me when u're free. tc =)

> she's doing very good.

Fannie :Hapi Mothers' Day!!!
> you too nahs.! hhaas.

ling :ur ger look like her daddy.

> who re you? & ho told you she have a daddy. she have no daddy. so she wont be look like her daddy.

♥ ffelffel ° :aiyo... take care babe..

> okays. meet up soon. boo!

jocelyn-loves :ohyah! congrats wor.. heehee.. seldom online..didnt know u gave birth until i read nana's blog

> hhaas. yahs. tks.

jocelyn-loves :quinnabel so cute!!

> tks. tks. :)

joyce :quinn look different from the 1st dae when i visit u in hospital... tk kare.
> hhaas. yahs lo. my mummy also say that too.

eme :oh.. quinnable is out.. welcome sweetie.. btw iris gurl.. u do rest well ya.. try not to move too much.. take good care ya.. lovessss♥

> kays. tks. i'll take care lots de. meet up soon:)

rachelle Hi Hi, yr baby v.cute ya take care =)

> tks.

stacey :link me up? (:

> yappx. linked.

missJAC :quinnabel so so so cute . the face red like tomato . how her jaundice ? dun worry . jaundice usually raise on the first week . after first week den will go down liao . take care arx .

> hhaas. not bad. but she not tomato lo. she chilli padi sia. LOL. her jaundice till today is much better liaos. tks:)

gin :when your girl's full month must invite me arhs . *oops* seems i have a thick skin . meet up soon & take care

> hhaas. no prob. wait for my invitaions bahs.

stacey :hi young mummy. care to link me up? (:

> replied.

..... :sry why u no hubbby ? no offences !

> its very offences okays. you want you type your name. stop using nameless. no hubby also not a big deal. its my personal things. so i dont think i have to report anything to you, unless you are someone i know. tks.

Nana :Soon. Having contractions now alr. But then not pain enough to open the cervix. Sobs! Must like you loh. walk around more. wait for pain.

> congrates.! boo:)

2009-05-02T13:16:00.004+08:00

Hello people!
Iris's internet is down. ):
But she will be back on the 14th to post her birth story.
She feels much better now and her 小公主 is currently sleeping. (:

Do stay tune for her post! (笑)

Reply of tags!
Angelia: Tks. :)

Jiahui: Which Jiahui are you? Hmm, tks. Sure. No prob. :)

Fade: Haha. I'll eat more tonics de. Tks. Meet up soon.

Crystal: Which Crystal are you?

Wilson: Tks :)

Gin: Nvm. It's okay. Will relink you once my internet is back. Tks anw. :)

Reader'nicole: Tks. :) You got blog to link you?

Felicia: Tks mei. Meet up soon after my confinement with your girl. :)

Nana: Haha. Okays. I'm waiting. Can't wait to see your boy too.

smile: May I know who are you?

.....: I'm single mom. No hubby. Who are you anw?

Meixing:♥ ffelffel °: Haha. Ya! When my confinement finish must go out hor! Wait for me! :)

♥Etrini-: Everything is fine. Tks.

lil angel's arrival - 4th day.

2009-04-28T16:58:00.006+08:00

Today is my day 4.

wounds is better yesterday. but today, suddenly back to be like the days of pain i had in hospital. hmm. but tink will be fine soon. baby quinn is sleeping soundly now. so got the time to blog awhile. hmm. she's not so hard to handle afterall. because she keep sleep. LOL. nights too. but she only make a fuss, even she's alittle dirty. other than that, she's drinking her milk every 2hrs 60ml & in between, still got breastfeed. she's a very big eater lo. omg. yesterday bought her to polyclinic, & her jaundice was 165, today seems higher. maybe i eat ginger so shoot up bahs. & tomorrow she needs to be back to check again. hmm. so sad. se the nurse poke her leg for blood test, my heart aches lorr. but my darling girl was sleeping, so she just cry awhile only.. still okays. hmm. & now, i shall reply the tags & go rest awhile before baby quinn wakes up for milk.. by the way, yesterday went for the check up right? baby quinnabel is now weighing at 2.96kg. hhaas. so fast grow up. LOL. hope she more n more chubby :)

not really in the mood too. granny just called mummy. yahs. her reports is out already. she got CANCER. the last stage. doc says that she only have 2months left. if she wants longer, she have to go for operations, maybe can endure for around 1yr. & now she's stll thinking about the decision. omg. everyone in the family feel so sad & moody. it hurts to see granny like this. i know the pain she have. but just hope she wont give up. just try her luck to go for the operations & see what happen next. because my girl still yet to greet her yet. her grandchildrens still haven grows up yet. just hope god will give her more time. that's all i hope & wished for granny. because now myself also cant take care of myself well withput mummy's help. but im sure i'll visit & see her with baby quinn once my confinement is over. i miss her so much. her smiling face..

TAGS TO REPLY :

=) :Finally ur precious is out le. hope u rest well for ur confinement week. hmmm. ur precious so cute lorr. haha. god bless the both of u =) take care ba.
> tks. i'll rest more de.

Felicia :your baby's so cute!
> tks. hhaas. you mei issit?

joyce :after ur confinement over shall bring baby out ya.. tk kare & rest well
> yappx. wait for me. hhaas. very fast de..

ice :so cute lahs . baby veri fair .. good skin complexion leis .. u eat alot bird's nest ah ??
> hhaas. tks. i got eat bird nest, once a week lo. & eat many durians lo. hhaas.

fade :aiyo! so ke ai!
> tks darling.

ps :hey can i ask how u do ur name wif two colour?
> i dont know how to tell you. its make from the html codes.

Crystal :Congrats mummy iris, when you free just let me know ok? wanna carry carry her... lolx... rest well :)
> anytime you just sms me then you can see her liao. LOL.

♥Etrini- :LOL put cigarette on her LIPS . OMG LAHS >.<> my brother put de. LOL. yappx. but the right side dimpers more ming xian than the left one.

ps :congrats gal=)ur bb girl is cute..rest well during ur confinement=)
> tks for your concern :)

Yanwen ♥♥ :so cute and so chubby!! she look like she gonna have sharp nose! cute!
> hhaas. yahs. abit. her nose. your baby girl also very pretty now :)

Nana Laughs, i excited for you mah. So everytime count down for you. I wonder if it's ranice first
or me first. Haha! Soon soon, will update you also :D
> hhaas. then now you shld b excited. because yours coming anytime also. update me hor.

rachelle :rui en v.cute... =D
> tks.

PEG :you good! wahaha. awws she is soooooo cute.. will be visting you soon with winnie on my off days. congrates on your birth ah! better take good care of your health.=)
> you both better come. LOL. you two the god-mother. hhaas. im waiting lo.

missJAC :ur bb girl is cute . must rest when she slp lehhs coz taking care of a newborn is real tiring de .
> yahs. im resting. got mummy's help also. stll okays.

mummymargaret :hey, congrats.. ur princess finally out.. hehe.. she is sooo lovely.. u must rest well ya.. tag me ur email to add in msn.. if nt u add me in msn bu_zhi_de@hotmail.com visit u when i'm free:)
> add lerh. hmm. tks.

Day 4.

Day 3.

Finally my lil'Quinn has arrived :)

2009-04-26T22:59:00.006+08:00

Sorry for not blogging. Today just discharged with my lil'Qinn(my lil'Angel). Yappx. Everything is doing fine & will be better now. Thanks for all those who sms me. so touched. sorry that i didnt reply. Because im too tired to do it. & also, KKH is the my greatest regret of being there. nevermind, because i wont be going there anymore.

my lil angel was born on Friday, 24042009. its was like so finally, & i love her alot. hhaas. with so many hairs & 2 dimples. & she also abit naughty like i said. because whenever me or mummy wanted to take picture of her smile, she changed it again. hhaas but nevermind, i still have many chance. im just doing a lil update right now. because i need to rest more for now, tomorrow still mus bring lil'Quinn to polyclinic :)

shall update my birth story real soon. just to blog up some photos of my lil' angel :)

Tags to replied :

tingg :Congrats girl!! Rest well during confinement. Welcome to motherhood (:
> hhaas. tks.

MummyJo :Congrats on the birth of ur little girl~!!!
> tks.

♥Etrini- :Congrats =D
> tks. your turn will come soon too:)

Yanwen ♥♥ :lil quinn is out?? aww, wanna see her! you rest well too!!
> yappx. she's finally out lo. hhaas. yappx. will rest well de. you too :)

pb :congrat =D take gd care
> tks.

missJAC :heard tat u gave birth alr . congrat on ur bb ger arrival . take gud care & rest well during ur confinement .
> yappx. tks. you too rest well:)

ice :congrats . u mus b soo soo happie. take good care of urself
> yahs. damn happy lo. i'll take care. you too. mett up soon.=p

caslin :congrats!
> tks. you too=)

Nana :Grats!
> tks. your turn coming soon right. hhaas. update me too:)

joann :congrats on arrival of quinn
> tks =)

Felicia :Congrats! (:
> tks. you mei or?

Fannie :Congrats! I wana c Quinn's face lo!!! Updates when u're bk..But rest more/well n tkin care of ur lil 1 is much more important.Tkc yeh!
> tks for the visit. hhaas. your girl also cute lo. hhaas.

fionne :u send me sms, u say bb due. ure tired. i tink u meanin quin is here alrdy rite? LOL. hopefully. tk cares, and if can will go visit u n quin one day =D
> yahs. she's finally out. hhaas. meet up soon =)

fionne :congrats
> tks.

Nana :1 more day 37 weeks alr loh. Laughs! You've finally reached 37 weeks mannnn.
> lol. you keep counting dwn for me. hhaas. yours also coming soon.

Yanwen ♥♥ :soon soon. Why u in hospital also so pretty one. lOL! cant wait to see baby girl!
> lol. wher got pretty. you also mahs.

gin :yuppies , i inside your friendster list .

> alright. i'll send you my msn add thru ther.

PS. DO NOT RIP MY GIRLS PHOTO. IF NOT I CURSE YOU. IF WANT, I'LL SENT. =)

*PRIVACY*

says GODDBYE to my pregnancy days. hhaas.

37th week.

my darling angel :)

Day 1

Day 2

Granny still inside the stupid TTSH.. god bless:)

2009-04-23T19:04:00.003+08:00

hmm. mummy went over to TTSH again. yahs. she came back at abt 12pm+, did some housework, & sleep for afew hours & there she went to TTSH again to accompanied granny again tonight. mummy said that her back was pain & her leg was swollen because she didnt sleep well last night. as granny keep going to the toilet. mummy told me that granny is angry & wanted to give up again. because today she was bought for the scan to see & wait for reports. but the stupid doctor say cant see anything. that's why granny was sad about. haiis. listening to mummy sayings. my heart broke down again. hoping that by tomorrow everything will be okay & granny to be back home. *God bless.

yahs. my dearest OldMan, was sick now. fever. clumsy him. yesterday fall down & was sick today. anyway, hopes his exam's results will be good. because i know he have been working hard on it. hmm. PS. dont worry about my things, just concentrate on your own studies for now. *cheer:)

& now, i also dont know what to do. just play Psp, sleep & rest well is all i need. everyone have their own difficulties. just hopes everything goes well for tomorrow. *loves.

Will it be better after tomorrow.? Hopes everything goes well bahs.

another post for today..

2009-04-22T21:56:00.002+08:00

just another post for today..

wanted to rest. but cant go to bed. because just recieved mummy's call. she's at TTSH with granny. making me also cant go to bed now. haiis. my dear granny..

mummy told me that granny wanted to give up medication on herself. she seems to be tired. she said that she's old liao. she wanted to give up lerh. making grandfather, uncles, aunties, daddy & mummy is all very sad now. me too. i just hope granny wont be so easily pull down. i know its suffering & pain. but.. just hope she wont give up. since she have endure for so long. its sad. & i feel like crying now. omg. i just hope she'll be strong like what she usually do. this is life. but i hope she wont give up. she still yet to see my girl grows up. she still yet to see my cousins becoming adults. she have so much things yet to be done. why is heaven always so unfair. always making those who need love most to suffer. its just so unfair. granny's pain, granny's suffer, is worst & worst every year. but.. i know she's holding on. just hope her reports will be good for this time round. praying hard. & never think of giving up anymore, since she have come to this stage.

Praying hard for my dearest granny. ILY.

awaiting for Friday's news..

2009-04-22T20:11:00.006+08:00

yappx. just came back from KKH again. omg. its like KKH seems to be my second home lo. keep come & go back. omg. stupid. stupid doctors. stupid service. stupid hospital. & stupid missy. omg. just feel so stupid about the whole KKH lo. i feel so so regret. i shouldn't have choosen KKH from start. NO CHOICE.! no money. & im a single parent. what to do. & i need to deduct some of the hospital fees from my parents medisave. bo bian. ENDURE.!!

omg. & now. im waiting. waiting for Friday, 24042009 to come. hhaas. more to update after that. hhaas. *FYI, not about lil'Quinn's stuff. personal things.

pray hard that granny will be okay. her reports will be fine. because i went in hospital, she also admit in TTSH. haiis. poor us. she have the sme thinking as me. "why must always girls suffering so much.?" LOL. this is what we thought for now. she felt poor for me to have all the needles poking in me everytime i admit in hospital. & i feel sad for her as her cancer & sickness is always not cure completely. & got to suffer the bad life in hospital like me for days. haiis. she's too old for that, my god.! but i hope she will be fine. & hopes the reports will be good too.

poor mummy. have to run KKH & TTSH both the same time. just to take care of me & granny. haiis. shagg. really gave her too much stress. all tings comes together. but nevermind. mummy say she can handle de. hope she wont fall sick.! if not my confinement die.. if not no people can help granny when she needed help. god bless =)

36weeks+5day

2009-04-21T14:45:00.004+08:00

finally 36th week + 5days.

yahs. time dont know is running slow or fast. im just too lazy to blog. but anyway, yesterday suppose to meet up wit Ice & Ffel, but in the end never. because mummy dont allow me to go far. she keep nag till i BTH. lols. *sorry girls:)

hmm. nothing much. yesterday night did have the contraction pains, but still endurable. so i dont really care about it & turn in sleep. i've been sleeping alot too. especially in the noon time. & just changed my bedsheets okay not long. hhaas. new bedsheets to welcome my little angel. woohoo.!

yesh yesh. im in love with my new hp too. hhaas. Sony Ericsson c905. LOL. cybershot, 8.1megapixel, then got Wi-fi, got Gps, the sound also quite loud. hhaas. muacks. thank you for the perfect gift. even its black color, still okay. because the pink wasnt really pink. its the rose alike color. hhaas. nevermind. got new hp to use can liao. hhaas. im such a xin fu girl wors. LOL. *joking :)

still counting down everyday. hoping my little angel will be out so soon. cant wait to see her cute face. muhahas.!

cam-wh0ring =p

the sufferings i had when i was hospitalized. thanks to mummy took it. *so ugly.!

my new love =)

36weeks+2day

2009-04-18T22:44:00.002+08:00

36 weeks + 2 day now.

nothing much. just tried my best to walk as many as i can. hhaas. so almost everyday im out of my house. hhaas. enjoying my shopping life before i start my confinement. wondering when will my day starts. hope faster bahs. hmm. nothing much to blog or anything special to blog about too. so sians. this few days damn hot. especially today lo.! super duper hot. the stupid weather. during confinement like that i will go crazy soon. hmm. faster. i hope faster to get my big tummy off. day by day, im feeling very tired to walk aroung with this big tummy lo. because i cant get to sleep well in the night. again, i always very tired, wanted to sleep, but keep tossing & turning in bed lo. omg. very irratating.. boohoo.!

36th weeks =)

waiting.. 36th week//

2009-04-17T02:56:00.007+08:00

yesh. back to cant sleep again. back to update like the usual me. hhaas. after so much, read through s many different young mummies blog. & i think, i might not be so xin fu like them now. having a fulfil family, a good hubby by their side. but at least 1 thing i know is, that's this someone. this innocent one. this poor one. he's there for me until today. he didnt complain nor said me at all. he dont blame me. yet he encourage me more. the love he shown. the care he gave. is what i needed most whenever i need someone to talk to. no matter how hard my problem comes, he's always the one left to help me without fail. he made me feel loved & touched. he pull me back from the past. he shown me what true love is all about. everything he did, im really very apreciated with it. im really vey happy hat i've met him. it might be fast for me to accept this new life. but still, he never thinks or treats me like a burden. just one simple way to describe, he never fails to leave me alone in the dark. so its not so late to feel xin fu at all. after all the ups & downs i've went through, & finally i've met him. & so i choose to leave the past behind wasnt the wrong idea at all. & now, he's everythig i need. he's no one else. just my silly OldMan.

PS. thanks for everything, silly. i known you've done alot for me. what i told you & said to you, just wait & see the result yourself..

yesh. im officially, finally, on my 36th week now. im waiting evry minutes for lil'Quinn's arrival. im more anxious than anyone else. not forgetting my mummy, daddy, ahyi, cousins, granny, grandmother & som of my friends. hhaas. just hope everything will goes well fine for me & lil'Quinn after her birth. i promise, i wont be so stupid like the past. because im totally tired. & of cause, im walking forward everyday. im not like the past, thinking, stressing myself every minutes. crying like little babies. im 21yrs old this year already. i should have more goals in life. walking forward will bring me happiness not harm. in life, so many things i've really yet to do it. so after lil'Quinn's arrival, i gonna start anew & set more goals in life. my girl needs me more than anything. yahs. she's gonna love by everyone too. i wont allow harm to come into her life, i promise. no matter what, i'll protect her, she's my little angel. i wanna be a good & great mummy =)

* what past is past. i left with no regrets on the past, walking through to the future with hopes & smiles everyday. because fate change everything in our life. we cant predict anything in future. but i know, without you, im happier, & you too. just bame it on the chances we did not cherish well. its all too late. broken relationships in the past i had, ups & downs of quarrels in friendships i had, quarrels with family members i had, i hope all the bad ones is left & never comes back. because im living happily now. with the one who truly treasures & loves me. im fulfil, & i know lil'Quinn too..

i dont know why. it seems like everyone is feeling so stress & sad & emo now days. actually im feeling the same. but i just wished to be happy. i tried not to think & stress myself so much now. because i need to be happy, so lil'Quinn will be happy too. just pray that everything will goes well for everyone.

including *her. i might not be like the past, contacting you always, accompany you, joke with you, sms you when im free. maybe because after the last things happen between us. but i know, you know who im talking about. i believe you will be stronger than me. like you said. we are always BFF. i know you have your new group of friends. i maybe left apart for some reasons. i dont mind. just hope you will be like the past. smiling everyday. bull-shit with jokes everyday. just everything good for you can le. time drift our relationships apart. we are no longer like the past. but i hope, you will never forget the things we said to each other. the days we had together. the things we shared & do together. somehow, i suddenly just feel like telling you, im still here for you, even we are not like the past so close. i wished you to be happy. isnt that what you wished for me too? dont brood over the unhappiness, walked ahead with smiles. set your goals like the past. because iknow you are stronger than me in many ways, my dear BFF.

sorry fot the long lost MIA =)

2009-04-16T17:01:00.003+08:00

hey peeps.! im back.!!
sorry for the long long lost update.
i thought lil quinnabel coming out..
but..
too bad.!
because i only amitted to hospital since SATURDAY.!
LOL. i was hositalized since then till today just discharge.
alright. shall update abit first.

saturday am out with mumm,ahyi & cousins.
was at suntec walking,
bought lil'Quinn's her swimming trunks & the sarong sling.
no choice, bought the sling at purple color. because really no pink. the light purple color also not bad. hhaas. & her little swimming trunks in blue, because pink no more size..
walked & walked.. until night time, during dinner, story started..

around 8pm, when started to go home,
my contractions came.
but im still enduring.
from suntec, i took bus home with mummy, was still enduring all the way,
then once reached AMK, i damn BTH, so swtiched to cabb.
cabb home, reached hse dwn stairs, my pain stil there, i vomitted.
den i thought reach hme maybe my contractions would be better, but damn it, getting worse.!
ard 11pm, pain till i BTH, so i told mummy, & mummy quickly packed & bought me to hospital.
reached hospital, they pushed me to delivery suite, then starts to poke all the needles & stuff.
omg. damn pain, they tot i was in labour, but i wasnt yet..

then when the big doctor came, she told me i cant give birth yet as im my lil'Quinn is still pre-mature baby, cos she's only 35wks+, so they have to monitor me, & check whether i have dilation or not.
so i was admitted there, kanna injection. not only on hand, but on my leg total i got 3 injections.
then the pain im having is really contractions..
then doctor checked, & said im 1cm dilated, but i cant give birth yet, due to lil'Quinn is stil not on the border line or 36th week. so they can only monitor me & aske me to endure, as they wont induce or operates for me, cos they scare lil'Quinn is not fully formed.

so i spent my days over at the delivery suite, day by day waiting for the dilation & to see the contractions.
everyday my pain is there, to relieve it, only way is to inject pain killer on my leg & i can sleep well with it for only 4hrs.
until yst, i was able to move to normal wards, because i really cant stand it at the dlivery there. at least i can no need to put under CTG for every minutes, at least i can walk to toilet myself, but all this, i have to endure with the pains i've got, in order not to go back to the delivery there.

& today i asked for discharged. as the hospital bill for me is going to burst & cost me alot. (*i dont mind ppl donating me money now. LOL.) shag. gonna headache abt the bills. not only that, today i can go hme is because my dilation is still the same, 4cm. i told doctor, if i never go hme, never walk, hw to get more dilation, so doctor told me a very old grandmother stpry & stuff, checked on me & lil'Quinn, so let us go hme. & wait for the waterbag to burst. like also good. because i thought induce was good. was actually, induce wasnt good at all. so now, i jus have to be at hme, walked more till dilation is 10cm, water bag burst, & that means lil'Quinn is coming=)

hhaas. & also to update this.. during my checks, i've ask doctor to cfm with me lil'Quinn's gender. & she so guai, open her leg wide to let me see. its CFM. its a GIRL. i no need worry so much liao. hhaas. & she's weighting at 2.7kg now. so now since im hme, i hope to eat more to gain more weight. even doctor say to me, lil'Quinn's size is overweight, but i still tinks i shld gain more weight. baby fatter better than those tiny babies i saw.. not forgetting her & her movements.. she's still as naughty as usual.! hhaas. because everyday under the CTG, she keeps moving non-stop, even the nurse also say her. hhaas.!!

so now, i just have to rest more, walk more & wait.! god bless me =)

elaborates my moodswings.

2009-04-10T04:37:00.005+08:00

Elaborates my moodswings now. cant sleep at all. thanks lo. i didnt really took my afternoon nap. & my stupid eyes & mind just cant shut down. omg. look at the time now, its 4.48am, & i can still sit here to type & blog. im vampire. moodswings is still up & downs. easily feel angry & pek cek. im really controlling it. omg. bursting soon. the thunder now keep blinking & yet still haven't rain. this few days i really hate the rainny days. because after the cool rains are gone, the weather turn to be more worse than normal sunny days. its killing me.

yappx. mummy went out last evening, so i made my own time to meet up with Crystal. before meeting her, i went shopping alone in Amk Hub. damn scary. dont know why either. yappx. then after that meet her & we were waiting for her sweet bf, mr Andrew. LOL. damn long. first time wait till so long. but nevermind. i dont care at all. cause im busy chatting with crystal. hhaas. updating my life to her. LOL. then when the bf reached, finally dinner time. hhaas. actually anted to have Pizza Hut. but ended up Kfc. because if we want to eat pizza, still must wait for the stupid 30mins lo. & i dont think we wanted to waste our time there. yappx. so changed to kfc instead. because its jus beside only. hhaas. dinner time. JOKE.! & makan. LOL. really cant stand crystal sweet bf. because he keep me make laugh till my tummy feeling like want to drop anytime. hhaas. after dinner, wanted to walked to Amk Hub, while walking, did little shopping. bought myself a new bag. yappx. damn long never pamper myself already lo. so its time to pamper myself alittle. boohoo.! after that thanks to her sweet bf, drove me home. hhaas. reached home, waited for mummy to come home, then went out again to Amk again to meet ahyi & cousins. lols. just ate till full full, then reached there, asked cousin to help me buy McNugget meals again. LOL. chatted there & slacked awhile. after that headed back home, play computer, play psp & now back to typing my blog again. because i keep tossing in my bed. totally cant sleep. & baby quinnabel too lo. because she keep moving & swimming non-stop.! hhaas.

shag. dont know want how to end my post. LOL. so boring. mummy read newspaper, & read till the column saying my used-to-be neighbour pass away during her sleep. her story was very sad. her kids were still young. but her husband is acting up & wants people to help him with the funeral of his own wife. even mummy & i have the same thinking. because we know him too well. his character & stuff. just that never say much also. because i dont really like him at all. its the past. its my old home at Serangoon North. anw, RIP. her kids is the poorest of all. because the older kids is only Secondary 2. & the small kid i think only primary 5/6. its damn small when their mummy pass away in sleep. poor kids. anw, this is fate. no one can change it either. just blessed them.

my backache is like getting worse. during my sleep, i can feel the pain lo. its around the spine there. consider backache. people says its normal. the symtons of going to give birth soon. *sorry for my spelling mistake. hhaas.

baby quinnabel jus gave me a very very hard kicked.! its very enjoyable, but the feeling abit pain too.! because too hard already. LOL.

he is sleeping soundly now. he kept his promise that he wont go out. yahs. & this silly OldMan was asking why didnt i blog about him. hhaas. because currently, i dont know what to blog either. whoopz. but he is always the silly OldMan. hhaas.!

my stupid bloody leg. from side, looks better liaos.

but pls look closer. my veins still got blue black lo.

& the open wounds is damn red & itchy.!=(

stretchmark on my previous belly hole there. ;(

35weeks4day =)

baby quinnabel's cot.

final touch up liaos.

LOL.

Everyone makes mistake..

2009-04-09T15:35:00.003+08:00

Everyone makes mistake,
it's the matter of changing after realising.
Life is too short for any regrets.
Treasure what you have,
before it's too late.

Nothing much today. still, i dont get to sleep well during the night time. haiis. poor me. wondering what's gotten over me. i dont know. im lost for a sudden. suddenly i felt emo & lonely. i dont know why im feeling this way. but im trying to tell myself that im just getting far too nervous. that's why. & i know i have a past, you do not know. accept me for who i am & i need no comments from anyone. that's what i know for now. im tired of the past i used to have. everyone do changed. just the matter of time. yahs. friends/lovers/enemies do come & passby in our life. isnt it? that's what great about human. because you can starts to fight for what you want. get what you wanted. its normal. true friends are hard to find. quarrels do happens. i know my post sound damn emo. but dont worry peeps. im doing fine. im just wondering. & thinking since im free to now. that's nothing much i can do or say either. everyone have their own things to be busy with too. maybe for me now is very relax, but i believe. after baby quinnabel is born, i wouldnt have much time like now. sitting here, typing my daily feelings & stuff whenever i can. i might be very busy with work/baby & love. yahs. things are hard to predict. but i believe, if ones keep up the good work/strategy of doing somethings. i believe they/i will do it. just blessed me. blessed me in everything will goes well for me. because i dont wished to be the past me. its childish when i think back. hhaas. i've really grown up i think & i guess. i need time to change my everything. looks/characters/attitude & self-thinking. yahs. what past is past. sometimes i do wonder, why cant i wake up from the fantasy earlier. if can, maybe things wasnt the same like now. but i dont blame anyone. i know its a way to my life too. its my path, i choose it too. i've no regret either. she's not a burden. she's my everything. she changed my life. & from the day i decided to bring her to this world, i know it will be very hard for me, but still, i've never gave up. im still holding on tightly. im still waiting everyday for her arrival. yahs. but i hope, when guiding her life throughout, i hope she wont make the same mistakes as me. because it wasnt good. it dont feel proud or good also. different people have different thinking. like my situation now. some might think single-parents is a very very bad image to them. but who cares? its about me & my child. she's my precious. its a gift from god too. no regrets. just hope she will be happy to be born to be my girl. i will & promised to give her everything the best. no matter what. what she've lost, i'll mend it up. because iloveher.

counting down.. 36days to go after 12am..

2009-04-08T22:18:00.002+08:00

yappx. 2hrs more to 12am. & its 36days to go. nearer & nearer. tomorrow mummy is going out for her friends treat, as her friend win 4D, 1million lo. last week jus win $5k if i never remember wrongly. then today 1million. damn heng. hhaas. but for me, i dont buy 4D or trying to gamble much this year. because this year is not a good year for dragon. hhaas. i quite Mi Xing. tried to believe abit will be better too. just take it as save money lo. hurhurr.!

i was organising Mahjong for tomorrow. because i've gotten mummy's permission to play mahjong at home.! because i let her choose to let me go out or either i jio people play mahjong. then she say mahjong. till now, only 1 confirm with me, the rest, is either pending or cant make it. so sad. haiis. tomorrow another boring day for me. haiis. no one asked me out either. i feel so ke lian. haiis. seriously, recently i hate raining days. because after the stupid rain gone away, there's those stupid flies flying around inside my room. making me feels er xin. HATE IT.!

& now, my nose is so itchy. omg. sians lahs. my injured leg is better, but stil can feel the blue black swollen. i really dont know what to type now either. just hoping baby quinnabel arrive faster. that's my hope for now. hhaas (:

officially 35th weeks.

2009-04-07T22:55:00.003+08:00

yahs. im officially 35th weeks by now. woohoo. 2 more weeks to my 37th week & 5 more weeks to my 40th week (EDD). but i really really & hope & wished that baby quinnabel comes on 37th week. dont too late. because i really cant take it longer. my moodswings is like up & down, then here pain there pain. making me nervous everyday, cant sleep well during night time. everyday life abit like more & more bored. dont even know what to plan & do for the next day/minutes. hhaas. but i also got fiends telling me they prefer now then when baby is born. because they cant handle the babies well maybe for the 1st week. hmm. as for me, im reall quite scare about that too. im scare that i cnt handle her alone at night. im scare that my wounds will hurt me till i no mood to attend to her. omg. im just too scare for everything. mummy keep ask me to cool down, if not it'll turn to be Depression. hmm. im handling my moodswing very well now. but i hope it will last. hhaas. just let me endure everything. i dont ask for me. really.

now im here typing, blogging. baby quinnabel is kicking & swimming inside me. making me cant sit in a better position. like my butt got things. keep shift about. LOL. nevermind. feeling her movement in me gave me the power to live for tomorrow. she's my everything. & of cause im her everything too. muacks. love her.!

yesh, today went to check my weight. yahs. gain weight liao. that time check up, my weight drop to 51.2kg. & today im weighing at 53.5kg. hhaas. i just want a normal & acceptable weight after my child birth. i want 55kg.! i dont want too thin. hhaas. mummy say can see abit difference in me. meaning = can see i got fat abit liao. not like the past. so so so skinny. woohoo.. keep it up.!

mummy told me a lame things. i was asking why now & then everyone give birth to babies weighing like abt less than 3kg. then mummy ask me pick up the challenge of my young brother weight. guess what's my younger brother weight? 4kg lo. siao. that one too big size for me liao. cant.. i rather abot 2.5kg or more abit. hhaas. wondering how much is baby quinnabel weighing now. hhaas. monday go check up then can know lerh. hhaas. waiting.!!

_______________________

just changed my blogskins. hhaas. kinda tired & sians of the old ones. LOL. since im bored, so change nor. yahs. & now hte time is currently at 12.28AM. woohoo.! 37days to go. im happy (:

38days to go..

2009-04-06T22:54:00.003+08:00

hmm. 1hr 5mins more to go. & i'll be on my 35th week pregnancy. i so happy. 38days to go after that.

omg. i really need to relax alot. im far too nervous. lol. went Amk Hub to meet ahyi with mummy in the morning. nothing much. just slack & walked about. hhaas. im trying to walk alot too. & i starts to have stomach pain contractions lo. didnt ate much since last night till just now evening. maybe due to the pain of my leg & stomach pains too. hmm. pregnancy period is really tiring. but nevermind. im still enduring. even if i know my attitude was alittle bad at times. im handling it well too. boohoo.!

my feeling told me, baby quinnabel will reached earlier. hope so. hhaas. so i can finish confinement early & work. i need money (:

& now, drinking my pao seng, muching on kinder bueno. LOL. enjoying my days (:

PS. went to NTUC today, when mummy & ahyi making payment, suddenly got 1 old lady tap my shoulder & talked to me.

old lady: Xiao Mei, your baby is a BOY hor?
me: *looking stunt.. HUH..?? BOY? aunty, its a girl..
old lady: but from my view, its a boy leis. & can see from behind..
me: *feeling like wanted to cry.. you sure mahs?

then my ahyi & mummy came into the talk..

ahyi: HHAAS.!! old lady say de is mostly cfm de.
old lady: *smiling at me..
mummy: aunty arr, dont say boy liao lerh. her room everything prepare PINK color liao lo.
me: I WANT GO CONFIRM & CHECK THE GENDER NOW.!! nearest gynae at where..
ahyi: hhaas. go check lo. amk got alot. but expensive..

after the talked, & payment, went around amk to find the gynae. wahs. all damn expensive. just a scan only. cost so much. in the end, gave up the idea. & tell myself. "dont worry, its a girl. the people just anyhow only.." that's why totally no mood.. just drink Milo & ate 1 Char Siu Bao for lunch.. sad-ed..

39 days to go..

2009-04-06T00:23:00.007+08:00

39days to go.

yappx. went to Novena with mummy. she went for her London Slimming thing. left me alone out there waiting for her to finish her treatment for 3hrs+. thanks leis. but after that cabb-ed home, mummy paid. LOL. yahs. was saying i injured my leg in the afternoon. & now, worse lerh lo. more & more painful. hopefully will recover very very soon. because the more i walked, my injury more pain. dont know why, moodswings wasnt very good. maybe due to the pain on my leg. & my backache is like getting worse. sleep also cant sleep well. & actually i should be sleeping now, see.. im here blogging again. because my leg pain, my backache made me cant sleep at all. hmm. got a feeling, baby quinnabel is coming into my world very soon. hopefully is the date i told mummy. hhaas. asking mummy lots of very lame question. ask till she dont know how to explain either. im too nervous lerh bahs. i told mummy, no matter what, dont let me so in pain, so better let me have the epidural. because i dont think i can endure the pain like i always thought i would be able. many say the epidural does really help. so i think im having it. im so gan jiong about baby quinnabel's arrival every day & night. seriously, i know mummy will be helping me, but im still worry that i wouldnt be able to handle. especially the nigth time? i dont know. i've been reading different people's blog, so their story about taking care of newborns got different saying. some is okay, maybe because they have their hubby around to take turn, some of them wasn't getting used.. but seriously, i hope.. i really hope i will handle everything.! *god bless me(:

sians. cant sleep. & now, baby quinnabel is kicking & laying inside me again. hhaas. can feel her cute parts. when i talk to mummy about her delivery, she moves even more. hhaas. that prove she understand what im talking about. just love her more & more. its very hard & tired sometime. but, im willing to give her everything, because she's already part of my everything. i really hope things goes well for me after her birth. shall stop here. nights*

my current red & swollen leg :(

cam-wh0ring..

34wks & 5day.

40days to go.

2009-04-05T12:43:00.004+08:00

40days to go.

moodswings : In pain & pale now. (*still okays)

yappx. just wake up from normal nap after having breakfast.(* like taitai life, eat lerh jiu sleep. LOL.) morning went to have normal breakfast with daddy & mummy. then went to Sheng Siong awhile to buy somethings, then daddy fecthed us home, i tidy my room awhile, & fall asleep till now. stupid. just fall down too. my leg sibei pain & swollen now. even its blue black, but still, very very pain. just like normal, sit up & wanted to get off the bed, & dont know how i hitted on my bed side, my leg kanna hit, then my whole body fall against the door, but lucky never hurt baby quinnabel. LOL. hmm. now rest awhile, gonna go prepare to go out. later nee accompany mummy to go Novena. & now, raining cats & dogs. woohoo. its a nice weather to sleep with lo. but due to the pain on my leg, i cant get back to sleep. yahs. nights haven't been sleeping very good. due to nightmares. not really nightmares, but to me still is bahs. because i keep dream of my water bag burst. LOL. then i quickly wake up & check. thought it was. but lucky not.so in the middle of the night, i keep sleep & wake up. makes me abit tired too. hhaas.

hmm. not gonna type any longer, gonna go prepare liao. later going out. muhahas. ahyi's & cousin's bday coming soon(:

btw, congrates to ffel's friend, Ice. another young mummy. gave birth to her little precious boy. & if i never remember wrongly, he's an april fool boy. so lucky. but still, im still waiting for my cheeky girl to come. im prepared.!

my poor leg. although cant really see the swollen, but still very pain lo. those red red part is the painful parts. *clumsy me:(

41 days to go..

2009-04-04T23:41:00.004+08:00

41 days to go. but after few mins later, its 40days to go.

hmm. firstly, congrates to YuanMei (:

finally her baby girl reached this world. all the best to her bb girl & her recovery (:

& now, im waiting for my turn. hhaas. waiting everyday. tummy getting bigger & bigger. more & more xinku to sit, do things & stuffs. poor thing. i told mummy that my tummy looks more like a table in front of me. LOL.

today morning went to granny's house as usual in the morning, then nap there til 12pm, daddy went there to pick me & mummy up to go fetch my beloved brother. because he book out. first time i went to his camp there. the journey super long. first & last time to go. LOL. after fetching him, headed back to granny's house for lunch. pick up my cousin again. because need babysits her. as she wanted to follow me & mummy for the day. hhaas. then after lunch, 2nd brother ride my mummy's bike home, young brother cycle home, then me, mummy, & my cousin went home by father's car. hhaas. went home, slack awhile, wait mummy washed brother's camp stuff then bathe, then went to bugis. LOL. nothing to do at home mahs. reached bugis, went to eat something at Macdonald. dont know why abit hungry. so i ate McNuggets, while cousin ate fish burger. hmm. then bite halfway, i saw her putting her hands into her mouth, i thought what she doing, then she took out her little tooth. LOL. her little tooth drop while eating fish burger. omg. she 6yrs old only, her teeth drop liaos. so cute. hhaas. after that started our shopping day. nothing much, just bought baby quinnabel's rompers & cardigan. hhaas. disney set wors. 2 pieces only $27.80. very cute lo. winnie the pooh de. LOL. actually wanna buy her a hat, but the color not what i wanted. so never buy, then after that, accompany cousin to play her arcade awhile, then took train headed back to Amk Hub, went to have dinner at Ah Mei's Cafe, then aunt came to pick cousin home, then me & mummy sat her car back home. reached home, msn with OldMan. hmm. & now, he went for his Mj again. & i here to blog. woohoo. sians. still got house work haven't do. weather damn kuku. super duper hot. omg. BTH lo.

shagg. now gonna go do my house work. if not mummy nag again. hhaas. after that gonna go play PSP. yesh, OldMan kept his promise, & bought me PSP yesterday. but waited for him damn long. no choice, he have to fetch his mummy home before he can drive the car over here to find me. hhaas. then accompany awhile, he went for his Mj again. so good life lo.

PS. OldMan only can good life for now. hhaas. he knows why. LOL. hope he enjoy his weekends (:

* & i find that i hardly buy myself things when im pregnant. i only bear to spent my little money on baby quinnabel. hhaas. hope its a good start for me to spent money wisely. as i said, i will give baby quinnabel the best. not for myself, but her now. she's more important. & she's for me to dote & love for. she's a gift from god. i'll work hard for her future. & i know god will bless & wished me good lucks too. but.. i hope i had enough to do hair extenstions after confinement. just to pamper myself abit before i start working hard again. LOL. shall see how. should i cut my hair? LOL..

baby quinnabel's new clothes. LOL. cutee lo. on sale items (:

42days to go.

2009-04-03T16:38:00.004+08:00

42days to go.

moodswing : Much better.

this 2 days have been quite busy. because need go granny's house to accompany her, as she's alone & grandfather wasnt around. so went to find her from morning till noon time. yappx. then yesterday after accompany granny, went to Hougang Mall with mummy to meet ahyi. yahs. slacks & walk around. because nothing for us to do mahs. then they say pregnant woman for now ard 34 weeks till due is better to walk more. so went there walk walk. been long time since i last went there. woohoo. yahs. then as for today, i just wake up from my nap. hhaas. ask mummy to bring me over to Houngang Point later. because i wanna go see things. hhaas. still haven't confirm. because mummy is watching her show now. as for me, nothing to do, so came to blog awhile. yappx. in another 2hrs, OldMan gonna book out. hhaas. he promised to bring me PSP tonight. don't know he still remember mahs. because no game, i gonna go siao liao. at home nothing do. only can eat, sleep & watch tv. then yesterday, suddenly ki siao, change my bedsheets & tidy my room. LOL. throw those unwanted bags away. hhaas. at last, i bear to throw away some old things. because, really no much space left for me to put my stuffs. when baby quinnabel born, worse. because her stuff will be even more. hhaas. girl mahs. will always want to get her the best. & i pray that i will get a stable job after my confinement. because i need to feed baby quinnabel alone. i know its hard, but for her sake. im willing to give her everything. i hope to be a good mummy of hers (:

hmm. this few nights, haven't been sleeping very good. because keep think of giving birth procedures, my careers, my studies & my future. haiis. i think im thinking too much. no choice. because really broke liao. no money liao. haiis. after give birth cant be like the past, anyhow spend my money. i need to spend it wisely lerh. hurhurr! wished me all the best. hhaas.

PS. i wanna cut my hair, i wanna put hair extenstions, i wanna dye my hair. because i miss-ed my long long hair.!

PS. baby quinnabel have been very very active. she swim around alot, move alot, & very KPO. everytime i talk to someone about her, she will response. hhaas. moving alot is good. but hoping she wont be so hyper active when she's born. if not i headache. LOL. 34wks 3 days for now...

PS. been addicted to Facebook alot now. hhaas. have been playing Facebook when im free & bored.

44days to go.

2009-04-01T12:56:00.002+08:00

44days to go.

moodswing : BAD

same. again. for the same bloody hell person, quarrels & tears. i just just dont understand why on this world got such a person. is he really dumb or spoiler? he made me n mum quarrel. his nothing. but his appearance & his doings made us to. i really really hate this fucking guy. so what if his a taiwanese? so what if he gave my mum money to stay over here? just the fucking $300 per month, he wanna be the king. wtf. when my brother inside camp, he act big, talking to me with his rude attitude or whatever shit attitude he likes also can. when my brother book out, he acts like a dog. only listens to my brother. wtf. i hate him. i hate his bloody mouth. remembering once, he said about my baby girl. what feel sorry for my girl to have me as the mummy & stuff. saying what i dont have the figure or what. he talks rudely. like watching the tv, he can say those girls is his girlfriends, he already fuck them before & stuff. his wicked mouth just cant stop it. & he dont even know when is the time to say things or not. & plus most funny is, he still yet to pass his CLASS 2B de license, still can talk till so loud about buying bike & stuff. not i curse him or what. its true. over confidence person will not get what he wants in the end. because its revenge from god. & his those types. to me, even his a kiddos. i can hack care him. but i just simply hate him for making me & mummy quarrel. he's nothing, just a fuck up no respect guy. i hate this type of people. staying at people's house, basic respect also dont know. even ahyi & aunt & uncle also hates & angrys about him. no one really likes him or welcome him. only mummy. because mummy is very easy type. any simple thing, she'll be happy & welcome lerh. i dont like it. i told mummy i wanna buy the LENEVO lappy. then he act like he know alot, tell my mummy say not worth it & stuff. saying he actually wanna buy too, just that the function & stuff not good. fuck-ed up lo. he's really testing my limits. a 19yr-old guy, dont even know how to wash plates after eating, expect my mummy to do everything like the maid. & also sometime dinner, me & mummy wanna go downstairs eat, then he just tag along nevermind, still need my mummy to pay for him. wahs. his $300 so big till everything also must my mummy do for him, scare he hungry & stuff. he really thinks too much lo.

HATE HIM.! my limits to him is going up soon. just dont force me only. making my moodswings bad everyday. fuck.!

34th weeks lo=)

2009-03-31T11:24:00.003+08:00

im offically 34th weeks.!

3 more weeks to go to reach my 37th weeks. im counting down (:

hhaas. three more days to go. woohoo. im counting down everyday. super tired & boring. i wanna go out work.! omg. mood for 2day was damn bad. thanks to LCW.! the stupid f**king taiwan guy of my brother's friend who is staying over at my house de. f**k. early in the morning come into my room, take my hair dryer without asking me or knocking my room's door, den knock onto my bed & woke me up without apologise. wtf is all these. he dont know what is basic respect sia. he thinks i very close with him like this. his mum never teach him? i one girl, sleeping still, comes in my room anytime he likes. f**k. when i turn to tell mummy, she give me a f**k face, like i owe her alot money like that. damn it. my fault mehs? is true mahs. he also not my brother or what. if brother, i abit okay with it. but HIS NOT lo. very very angry. then now my mummy throw attitudes at me. nvm. she play i play. i not going to eat anything from now onwards. because is she cook de. is not my fault, but she made it like i do wrong things. i cant take it lo. worse is SORRY also never hear from the f**king guy. he's like testing my limits man. not only this. many times, many things makes me piss off too. just that i never say only.

haiis. blame it on myself. no husband, one girl, pregnant, no place to stay, cant take care of baby quinnabel myself, so have to stay at this house to endure all types of attitudes from everyone. i hate this world.

cam-wh0ring (:

33weeks5days

47days to go..

2009-03-29T03:29:00.004+08:00

47days to go.
& im going for my 34th weeks on the coming tuesday. im so happy. & i have been trouble with sleeping during nights time. omg. is every pregnant woman feels the same? im tired, but still cant get to sleep no matter what. its either sleeping position not in the right one, or i just close my eyes tight. will keep thinking about child birth process. omg. i think im thinking too much. maybe im too too nervous already. hhaas. hope to get use with it. hmm. these days, my moodswings not very good. have been crying alone alot. dont know why. & i promise, i tried my best not to be like this. shagg. even now, doing little bloggings, i cant sit still. i will feel very weird around my stomach area, as like if something stuck in between my stomach area there. hhaas. & just now went to see the full mirror of mine, i found that my stomach shape starts to drop downwards & my tummy is getting bigger. mummy say dont have. but, i know myself. because the t-shirts i have been wearing at home makes me feel that its getting smaller, because my little ones in me is growing. woohoo! i hope my weight will stay, because i dont want to be underweight like the past. hhaas.

mummy asked me to be good, to finish the full term of confinement. she doesnt wished to see me running out half way. because i told her some of my friends already ran out on their 2nd week confinement. she said it wont do me good. so she hopes i'll be good. hmm. i hope i'll be good. hhaas. god bless me. hhaas. the weather is not getting very good. so hot. i tense to drink alot of cold water, & mummy keep nagging. because she said if drink too much cold water, not only baby will get asthma, but also the baby will be those hyper active type. which is very hard to handle with. hmm. i need to cut down my cold drinks. i need to drink lots of plain water instead (:

& i guess i have prepare almost everything for baby quinnabel. hhaas. baby's cot, her napkins, her stuffs, her everything, is all done bahs. hhaas. i hope. i really really hope, baby quinnabel will be good & arrives on my 37th week. so it means i just have to endure about 3 more weeks will do. pls god, pls baby quinnabel, fulfil my wished okays? hhaas. iloveyou. & ilovehim too(:

a very super duper hot & sunny day.

2009-03-28T12:53:00.004+08:00

wake up by mummy early this morning. & accompany her to amk central. accompany her pay her bills, change money for tomorrow, as she's going malaysia with daddy to pray. walked around at central awhile, & saw a stall selling baby stuff. so went to take a look. & ahahas. found gold again. yappx. mummy bought for baby quinnabel 2 sets of rompers with bid & 4 socks shoe. in total only spend $24 for everything. hhaas. the 2 sets of rompers with bid & a long pants with it, is 2 for $14. & the sock shoes is only 4 for $10. super cheap. thanks mummy. hhaas. baby quinnabel is so lucky that mummy love her as much as i do too. hhaas.

Oldman still sleeping. so good life. enjoying his mahjong sessions till morning 6am. & poor me, cant sleep till the time strike 3am. *ke lians leis.

hhaas. baby quinnabel's things is all in either white or pink.
omg. so sweet =)
*for your info, the rompers & sock shoes also got boy's set.
the material for the sock shoes very stretchable.
& the rompers' brand is Bon Bee Bee.

FUCK YOU. all my fault. im the one making nonsense & everything.

leave me alone.

48days to go.

2009-03-28T00:45:00.009+08:00

48days to go.

just finish watching 溏心风暴. a very romantic & touching love story. so touched that i watched till cried. hmm. not bad nahs. nothing much to blog about. wasn't feeling very well the whole day. been sad, been crying for the day. many things happened. even it wasn't really very serious, but to me, i think still the same.

if one day, i were to die before my love ones. im wondering, am i being selfish or not? but still, i wished that my love ones will be happy. & dont be sad for me. losing the love ones de feelings wasn't very good, but i hope, they will still be happy, even without me.

hmm. 1 month, 18days to go. or maybe earlier, i don't know either. baby quinnabel's arrival is coming nearer & nearer. hhaas. i feel so happy with her in me. she's been kicking & moving alot. mummy says that she will be a very cheeky girl. hhaas. just like now, baby quinnabel knows that im blogging about her, so she's kicking me hard again. hhaas. naughty her. but no matter what, i love her lots. (:

PS. baby quinnabel is my everything. i love her.
& now, his enjoying his MJ games, & im alone, nothing to do, cant sleep either. haiis. so sad.
hope mummy's feeling is much better now.

8months 1week of pregnancy. time flies. ever since the day i know that im pregnant, till now, the days counting down day by day, the happy & sad times i have & gone through, the tears i cried, the scar i got from, from a little blood clot & now becoming the little one inside my tummy, sharing my happiness & sorrows with me, is my little xiao bu dian, baby quinnabel. i've learnt & gone through many things, from a happy relationship to a broken relationship, from a single status almost becoming a married status, & now, im still on the single status. even its not important or a throw face matter, im still facing the fact that im a single mummy-to-be. & this whole pregnancy, shows me who really cares & loves me. i thank god that i have them. especially, my mummy. she's the greatest of all. & now, im going to be like her, gonna be a mummy soon. i need to teach & guide my girl all alone. mummy is the greatest role in life which i need to learn to be like her. so strong, & she never give up on me at all. even if i did hurt her sometimes. she keeps hang onto me, guiding me through, without complaining or regretting of giving birth to me. because she loves me. just like the way i love baby quinnabel too. i want to be like her, being a great mummy to baby quinnabel, even if its hard, i wont give up. because is my choice of choosing this path, & i need to overcome everything myself. its not anybodys' fault. its my choice, its god's will. i hope, & wished, baby quinnabel will be healthy & im glad with anything. i didnt blame her for taking away all my freedoms. i love her still, even her daddy have let me down, proving me wrong. im sure baby quinnabel will understand & stand to be the right ones. remembering, during the first trimster, i did have alittle thought of giving her up, because i thought her appears have hurt my relationship. but after a long cry, i realise, i cant blame her at all. she's the most innocent of all in this journey of mine. so until now, i didnt give up on her at all. & i hoped, she will be loved. & be the happiest girl in life. because im now playing the role of a father & a mother. she's my everything. & she meant alot to me too. i just cant wait to see her. sometimes really hopes she'll arrives earlier. because i wanna to talk to her, touch her little limps, kiss her forehead & saying this to her : Mummy loves you. i wont give up, because im still waiting. & i hope, Oldman will love her like i do. because he promise to walk down the path with me. & his telling me that we are holding on strongly, waiting the day to come, & he's so willing to be my little angel's daddy-to-be. i know its hard on him, but his trying his best to prove to me everything. & i trust him, okays. encounting the days together. thank god for everything. im happy & statisfied.

PS: to the special him.

2009-03-27T12:26:00.003+08:00

PS. To the special him. I just wanna tell him, how much is he meant to me. how much i need & love him. & so, belows are the words i wanted to tell him & let him know. hoping he will know & never hurt me like the pat history i had in life again. because ilovehim. i thanks him for everything. if not for him, i wouldn't be standing here so bravely, so happily. he let me knows alot of things which i dont know in the past. & the silly him, is still waiting there patiently for me. im really very touched of the things he did for me.

& boy, iloveyou truely. everytime you tense to be the one showing & doing all the surprise for me. this is the least & most i can do for now. but in future, i'll do it better than everything. <3

i just wanna end with : & this is the promise from me to you.

If you wander off too far
My love will get you home
If you follow the wrong star
My love will get you home
If you ever find yourself
Lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home Boy
My love will get you home
If the bright lights blinds your eyes
My love will get you home
If your troubles break your stride
My love will get you home
If you ever find yourself
Lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home Boy
My love will get you home
If you ever feel ashame
My love will get you home
If its only you to blame
My love will get you home
If you ever find yourself
Lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home Boy
My love will get you home
If you ever find yourself
Lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home Boy
My love will get you home Boy
My love will get you home

____________________

14022009,
fate bought us to know each other.
& from then on,
everyday, every minutes, every seconds, things you do,
things you tried so much, just to see my smiles.
& i never fail to smile so happily again.
because of you, im smiling everyday.
thanks for everthing, my dearest FATE.

49days to go.

2009-03-27T12:01:00.004+08:00

49days to go.
omg. im super duper bored now. my days at home getting bored & bored. because i have no where to go either. gonna rain soon. no money. no shopping. shag. i wished. i wished i have work now. going to work at least can kills my boredness. haiis. stomach again not feeling very good. pains. mummy says its the way of being a great woman. yahs. pregnancy woman is always the most brave ones. yappx. i agree. bigger than anything. hhaas.

sians. yesterday, parents quarrels again. almost ended up divorce. but still, not yet. haiis. i always thought that this wont happen to my own family. but still, im so wrong. as mummy is right, i've to open my eyes big big. if not all guys are the same. yahs. this time is daddy's fault. but what to do if he wants to be like the other guys. i wonders. flirting around is what guys really must do de mahs? hurting their love ones are they happy? why they are still doing all those *stuffs when they already have a family? haiis. NAN REN DU SHI JIAN DE MA? womans tense to bring up the family so hard, & what guys do is hurting them by flirting, keeping mistress & stuffs. yahs. not ALL guys. but MOSTLY guys are doing the same things. woman gave up their everythng, to put in all their love in this family, & guys can smash away the little hopes of woman. making all the woman hurts. its so unfair. married guys are the same? why cant they think for their wife & kids? why are they so selfish.? bring back those little money as housewholes, then what else they expect from the wifes? not enough? or must they wait till their love ones left them then they will know how to cherish? isnt it too late? why must always the woman get hurt & not the guys? haiis. & for the bitches. they have their own family, own kids. why can they still doing all this? arent they ashame of themself? omg.

im not pointing at other things or saying guys are at fault. both mistress & guys who hurt their family is at fault. so i didnt say my daddy was right. he hurts my mum, even i know mummy tries to be happy & not think too much. but still, i know how much she hurts. just like me. i got the same things happen to me before. even me & him* didnt get married. but, the feelings of knowing their love ones is doing those betray stuffs behind their backs hurts alot. mummy put in so much for this family, & daddy only knows how to blame her. saying mummy spoilt us? if not for mother loves, will we, will my daddy be standing there right now? mummy gave up her youths, to bring me & brothers up from a infant to a youngster now. arent she WEI DA ma? the pain she 've gone through. daddy only know how to blame her. wtf* is this. & the bitch. doesnt she knows the feelings of being hurt.? wh cant she put herself in other's people shoes. she have her own family. yet she still can do all this. i dont care is it whether because of money she did it nor what. she knows my daddy have a family, & she still keeps in contact with my daddy, she's also at fault. i hate guys who do all this to their wifes. i believe in karma. i believe in revenge. i believe & i hate daddy so much now. the way he insult, says & talk to mummy.

now what i can do, is only to take care of myself, accompany mummy. hoping she wont think so much. even i know she's acting only. i promise. i wont fail to give mummy a good living. i want her to be happy. because she deserve everything. if not for her, i wont be sitting here blogging about my life. if not for her, i wont be so blessed too. she's my everything. even if baby quinnabel is important, she's still so important. i just feel sorry that i cant help her much now. because of my situations, she's scare about my future too. but, i wont let her down again. i hope i wont trust the wrong HOPEs again. i know he* wont treat me this way. i know he* really will pamper me for life. i know he* was the one.

PS. You are the hope i've put in now, i hope it wasnt wrong again. because, you promise to walk me down the path in life, holding my hands through all obstacles. & iloveyou so.